This is the fourth installment of Prehensile Paging.
Any message you type on the pager contact page appears anonomously on my hip in about 10 seconds or so.
The messages make milk come out my nose during meals and give me erections during business meetings. I always have it on me, and,yes, I always have it set on "vibrate."
Here are some of the more memorable recent pages (in bold) and my responses:
you have a great chest but humorous people all have little dicks.... and man are you funny!
Thanks!…wait a minute…
Ask the person nearest you what kind of underwear they are wearing
And then what? What if they say "Fruit of the Loom"? Few things trigger my reptilian KILL instinct like the mention of that brand of breifs.
hey, i am sitting here just waiiiiting for you to come and unlock these handcuffs
Shit, Dad…I totally forgot! I'll be there ASAP.
just what is "morning wood"?
Lumber that has lost a family member or loved one. With the rate of logging in this country we're gonna see a lot more mourning wood.
I Bought some steel chinese relaxing balls, now I just receive weird looks from people when I tell them that I'm just rolling my big steel balls around in my hand.
Maybe they think that calling them "steel" is bragging.
there is no greater torture than doctors orders to quit the bud, cos yer sick. DIE HIGH!!
I'd heed the doc's advice. Bongs don't work well through a tracheotomy hole.
ARE OPEN SORES A GOOD REASON TO TURN DOWN SEX?? bUT WHAT IF SHE(OR HE I GUESS) IS REALLY HOT - I DUNNO
No way! An open sore is just a physical manifestation of the love trying to get out. The more open sores a person has, the more loving they are. I say go for it!
Sooo uh... Being an outsider..What do you think of the world situation today?
Well, I'm flattered to be considered an Outsider. But if I learned anything from Sodapop, Johnny, and Daryl, its, "Stay gold, Pony Boy"
ooh wanna touch the pee pee
I wouldn't do that. I've been eating asparagus.
Hungry for more? Vibe Me, Baby I and II and III are aching to be read.
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Copyright © 1998 Prehensile Tales.
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