Goals for 2002!
Last year few years I've put together a list of goals for the new year. Here is this year's list to keep me on track.

My Guardian Demon
Goals for 2001:
  • Stand up to the Major League Baseball commissioner. Demand the end to mascot abuse.
  • Dress like a mime for visits to my girlfriend's parents' house. Answer every question with "I'm trapped in an invisible box." gestures.
  • Finally finish my excrement sculpture.
  • Wear a helmet while driving and get a bumper sticker that says, "Airbags are for cheaters."
  • Start wearing a cape. (But get my girlfriend to stop saying, "faster than a speeding bullet.")
  • Change my voter registration to the "HugNation" party.
  • Instead of a wallet, carry my money in a burlap sack with a "$" on it like they have in movie robberies.
  • Try my hand at log rolling.
  • Petition insurance carriers to recognize the medicinal uses of pornography.
  • Shave off my eyebrows and draw them back on in a constantly "surprised" arch.
  • Whittle a spoon out of a larger wooden spoon.
  • Stand on a street corner with a "WILL WORK FOR BANDWIDTH" sign.
  • Streak the winter Olympics.
  • Explain to everyone who sees me streakinig the concept of cold and "shrinkage."
  • Work to make orange "Cheeto fingers" a vogue fashion trend in Paris
  • Fight that public indecency charges on "Freedom of Religion" grounds.
  • Embrace the healing benefits of urine drinking.
  • Convince someone to tattoo their nose.
  • Start saying, "This is for Tupac!" more often.

  • hellooo!

    What are YOUR goals for the new year?

    halcyon and on

other Tales:
"Goals for 2001"
"Goals for 1998"
"Goals for 1999"

Prehensile Tales is loves palindromes

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