Goals for 2001!
Last year few years I've put together a list of goals for the new year. Here is this year's list to keep me on track.

My Guardian Demon
Goals for 2001:
  • Learn to determine remaining battery life with my tongue.
  • Master the Lundy Hop.
  • Floss.
  • Force those punks to let me play their reindeer games
  • Protest non-primary colors.
  • Impregnate a reptile.
  • Up my brie intake to 2 wheels/day.
  • Read the fine print.
  • Pick which side is my "good side."
  • Conquer my fear of cotton.
  • Regain my tetherball Championship.
  • Patent my spanking machine.
  • Stop teasing gravity.
  • Skip to work at least 1 day a week.
  • Skip work at least 1 day a week.
  • Debate artificial flavors and colors.
  • Tackle adversity. Tie him up. Tar and feather him. Have my "Marry me, Brittany" tattoo covered up with a Celtic design or something.
  • Stop blood doping for regional athletic competitions and weekend masturbation sessions.
  • Ask Mom to stop calling me "Fucko."
  • Find a teeter-totter partner closer to my age (and weight).
  • Buy my *own* blow-up doll.

    What are YOUR goals for the new year?

    halcyon and on

other Tales:
"Goals for 1998"
"Goals for 1999"

Prehensile Tales is scared of the HAL character

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