Goals for 2001:
-
Learn to determine remaining battery life with my tongue.
-
Master the Lundy Hop.
-
Floss.
- Force
those punks to let me play their reindeer games
-
Protest non-primary colors.
-
Impregnate a reptile.
- Up
my brie intake to 2 wheels/day.
- Read
the fine print.
- Pick
which side is my "good side."
- Conquer
my fear of cotton.
- Regain
my tetherball Championship.
- Patent
my spanking machine.
- Stop
teasing gravity.
- Skip
to work at least 1 day a week.
- Skip
work at least 1 day a week.
- Debate
artificial flavors and colors.
- Tackle
adversity. Tie him up. Tar and feather him. Have my "Marry me,
Brittany" tattoo covered up with a Celtic design or something.
- Stop
blood doping for regional athletic competitions and weekend
masturbation sessions.
- Ask
Mom to stop calling me "Fucko."
-
Find a teeter-totter partner closer to my age (and weight).
- Buy
my *own* blow-up doll.
What are YOUR
goals for the new year?
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