Goals for 1999!
Last year I put together a list of goals for the new year. Here is this year's list to keep me on track.
Goals for 1999:
- Win a Grammy.
- Stop wasting so much money on wax lips.
- Eat less Albino human (the other, other white meat)
- Take fewer rhino poaching trips to Africa.
- Buy beer for every High School kid that asks.
- Answer people with, "Ready as I'll ever be!" regardless of the question.
- Stop masturbating in public.
- Stop masturbating during non-sexual telephone conversations.
- Stop masturbating while writing lists.
- Stop masturbating while writing the word, "masturbating."
- Update my list of reasons why I hate the French Canadians.
- Write and produce a musical about a robot and a princess.
- Go back to pronouncing "bee-otch!" as a one syllable word.
- Continue to resist that damn swing dancing fad.
- Get a time line on when that ointment is supposed to start working.
- Avoid Impeachment.
- Stop picking at it.
- Buy back all my Lionel Ritchie CD's.
- Get myself off the Scientologist's "Enemy of the Church" list.
- Kill everyone who does a Cartman impression.
- Stop beating around the bush.
What are YOUR goals for the new year?
written with Kaya, Deron, Mike and Jack.