Goals for 1999!
Last year I put together a list of goals for the new year. Here is this year's list to keep me on track.

My Guardian Demon
Goals for 1999:

  • Win a Grammy.

  • Stop wasting so much money on wax lips.

  • Eat less Albino human (the other, other white meat)

  • Take fewer rhino poaching trips to Africa.

  • Buy beer for every High School kid that asks.

  • Answer people with, "Ready as I'll ever be!" regardless of the question.

  • Stop masturbating in public.

  • Stop masturbating during non-sexual telephone conversations.

  • Stop masturbating while writing lists.

  • Stop masturbating while writing the word, "masturbating."

  • Update my list of reasons why I hate the French Canadians.

  • Write and produce a musical about a robot and a princess.

  • Go back to pronouncing "bee-otch!" as a one syllable word.

  • Continue to resist that damn swing dancing fad.

  • Get a time line on when that ointment is supposed to start working.

  • Avoid Impeachment.

  • Stop picking at it.

  • Buy back all my Lionel Ritchie CD's.

  • Get myself off the Scientologist's "Enemy of the Church" list.

  • Kill everyone who does a Cartman impression.

  • Stop beating around the bush.


What are YOUR goals for the new year?

halcyon and on

written with Kaya, Deron, Mike and Jack.

other Tales:
"Goals for 1998"

Prehensile Tales has beeing partying like it was 1999 since 1993

what's new + best of + links, etc + contact + what IS this?

A cause to believe in:
get goofy

Copyright © 1999 Prehensile Tales.

d e s i g n by h a l c y o n