part deux

Many moons ago, we published a list of adult websites a bit outside the norm. Since then, many of you have sent in suggestions of great "alternative" online porn. We're not talking about Grandpa's Crotch Cam or pictures of shit-eating. Just sites that deal with adult themes with a distinct "prehensile" sensibility.
Some of them do it intentionally, others do not. These are adult sites and although they are not porn, per se, they certainly aren't for youngin's.
A big THANKS to everyone who sent in a suggestion.

(links will open in a new window)

Bears on Bondageland According to their map, Bondageland is very close to the North Pole. This site gives a new spin on Santa's obsession with toys.
When all you want is a place to sit: Furniture Porn.

put the
"Check out what happens when a toned armchair named Lance spots cute Debbi, a sexy Louis XVI armchair! The throw pillows fly!"
Has it gotton to the point where you don't fantasize about sex with a partner anymore, but instead fantasize about particularly exceptional masturbation sessions from the past? Well, the Mormans might be able to help.
Here is a excerpt from their STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Guideline #4:
" When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present."
And if you start having Nasty thoughts about your family members, Congrats! you're well on your way to becoming a good Morman.
Sometimes it gets old saying over and over, "Excuse me for a moment, I need to go masturbate." This site helps out with a huge list of Masturbation Synonyms. Such as:
for men:
  • Auditioning the finger puppets
  • Caning the vandal
  • Choking Kojak
  • Fishing for zipper trout
for women:
  • Getting a stain out of my carpet
  • paddling the pink canoe
  • burrying the knuckle
  • Stiffening my upper lip
and many , MANY more.
There's nothing Kosher about Chicks with Ribs. (link dead)

more sauce!
"Enjoying ribs and watching other people eat them isn't some perverted kink to be persued surruptitiously by the raincoat-all-year-long crowd. No indeed. Ribs as a spectator sport is good family fun, and part of the global culture in which we are all immersed. In fact, watching someone eat a rib triggers some primordial satisfaction reaction, hearkening back to the first hominids that stood on two feet so that they could reach the grill."

This site is like Vegan Bestiality.
hubba hubba sticky pages Pat at Rotodesign has assembled some classic porn paperbacks from years past. I'm told Girl Watcher has some excellent articles.
Stupid Penis Tricks go! penis, go! features such user submitted tricks as:
Sweet Penis.
"If the penis has excellent spring-back capacity, put a piece of candy, such as a Lifesaver or M&M on his stomach, pull back on the penis and let-ter-rip. It will swipe the candy right up especially if you have already slobbered on the hog. Then, eat the sweets."
Is that a curling brush in your rectum? Or are you just happy to see me? Is that a curling brush in your rectum? Or are you just happy to see me?
Some people just know how to party. Rectal Foreign Bodies
"This 25 year old man claimed he had gone to a bar and picked up a girl. They then went back to her place. After a short while, they started going at it on her bed. She reached over to her nightstand, picked up something, and inserted into his anus. He didn't know what it was (hence the reason the xrays were done), but he was gonna kill her.

"One thing about these these stories: they're rarely true. I would have believed it, but he showed up at one in the afternoon on a weekday. No one can pick up a girl that fast. And he sure wasn't walking around with that thing from the night before."

You know of another great site? let me know...

If you're still hungry, check out the sites from Online Porn Part One

talk to me!

Prehensile Tales thought this was gonna be links to REAL porn sites.

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