I'd love to be a salesperson at Computer City.
"Sure, this computer will get you on the internet...What kind of services are you looking for? Email and flight schedules?
Tell you what…I'm gonna throw in a shitload of porn. Whad'ya think about that?!"
Alta vista gave me 127,144 matches for a search on "porn" and says the word "porn" is floating out there 2,304,691 times.
Everytime Joe American buys a computer, he is installing a fully-functional digital peep-show in his home.
This is so good for Porn!
In this form, porn is free from the shame-pits previously associated with Adult Entertainment.
Most notably: the brief eye contact with the underage clerk at the video store when you hand her the "Oral Mamas" rental box.
Well, we here at Prehensile Tales embrace the Jugerrnaut that is Web Porn! We want to point your noggin in the way of our favorite adult sites.
These are the ones that deal with adult themes with a distinct "prehensile' sensibility.
Some of them do it intentionally, others do not. Keep in mind, these are adult sites and although they are not porn, per se, they certainly aren't for youngin's.
Real Dolls |
If you haven't seen this site, yet…you really should. It's mindblowing.
Incredibly realistic sex dolls for $5000 each.
Their website explains how they keep their prices so low, "In a word: VOLUME."
Penis Measurement Chart
…print it out, lay 'er down, and see how you match up. (hint…You can print the graphic out at 75% if you need a confidence boost)
Digital Art Gallery Work by Antonio Mendoza. His photoshop creations put Hustler, National Geographic, and Vogue in blender and makes a sickly sweet cocktail. Visit the "Genital Apocolypse" and "Orgyscope" sections.
Mail Order Brides |
An introduction service to match-up Western Men with Russian Amputee Women. I wonder if they're making money? I wonder what other "deformity dating" markets we could capitalize on?
Todd Levin at Smug pointed out this URL atrocity.
"chicks with antlers." Yes. Just as its says.
You'll appreciate the site's zeal.
"What began as a club for misfits turned into quite
a raging bunch of rowdy antlered women." says Bulzara, who remembers thos days fondly.
"At times we would get so carried away with bakesales and cakewalks that we almost
forgot we had antlers in the first place! (until the boys came around that is...!)"
Girls in Gorilla Costumes |
Like the Antlerama...primate-style.
The Vagina Research Institute: |
"Do you have a vagina?
If so, let us know about it and send a picture!"
Excerpt from The Q&A section:
Why does my vagina bleed every month?
Well there are 2 schools of thought about the blood issue; 1st being that the vagina gets routinesly sick of it's own smell and has developed internal ulcers that tend to bleed every month. 2nd school of thought comes from the religious right, and claims that vagina is a result of the devil and one of the devil's promises to Jesus Christ was that he would, among other things, ruin all the white jeans of everyone in the world. This is reportedly claimed in the bible, however this cannot be confirmed because no one has yet read the bible.
Sexual Facts |
Like Largest Dildo, Most Prolific Porn Actor and...
And before you get too jazzed, the site also tells us that you measure on the TOP.
There are several instances in medical literature of penises that do not exceed 1 cm when fully erect, which doctors call a (ahem)
"micropenis".Those unfortunate enough to be equipped with these
diminutive organs can undergo reconstructive surgery to extend it to about 3 inches,
which I guess is an improvement.
The Phallic Symbol Collection
Worth it for the Cheeto Cheese Puff Phallice, alone.
All 9 featured sites have been inducted into the Prehensile A-Team. Congrats!!!
You know of another great site? let me know...
Prehensile Tales thought this was gonna be links to REAL porn sites. |
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