Dignity for Beads
(or "I Was A Mardi Gras Float Queen")
The float and its crew

Why were people so friggin insane? "GIMMIE SOME BEADS!!!!"

Jesus christ.
My brother turned to Paul, who organized our float and bought the beads. He looked at the outstretched pleading hands of the crowd and asked, "What's in these? They're just beads, right?"

You would have thought we were throwing crack vials to crowds of baseheads, or beanie babies to Christmas eve shoppers. It was an unsettling frenzy.

People were harassing us for beads before the parade even started. Is there something I'm not getting? Are these magic beads? Is there a giant beanstalk I don't know about?

Other people along the parade's path were holding their children up to us. I'm not sure what these folk's angle was. Did they figure no one could refuse a poor innocent child? OR was their message, "GIVE ME BEADS!!! I"LL DO ANYTHING!!!! TAKE MY BABY!!!"

Two women showed their breasts in exchange for beads. I wonder what I could have gotten for my watch?!

It was ugly. The parade was NOT about having a good time, it was about getting something. We would move for half a block then stay in one place for a minute or so. A minute is a long time to stare at the same group of faces while they scream, "BEADS!!" at you. People would even put on their sad faces, "oh, c'mon…? please?" they would pantomime. Nothing makes you feel quite as dirty as watching grown men and women whine for costume jewelry.

I felt like the people watching could care less about the floats, the parade, the party spirit, or us. "If you don't have something for me…then get out of my face. "

If you didn't make any motions to throw beads, the crowd got ugly. It was as if beads were expected: "We came out to watch your sorry cross-dressing ass…we deserve some godamn beads!" There is no fun in giving gifts when the recipient expects it. If the recipient is expecting the item and is upset if its not delivered, it hardly falls in "The Joy of Giving" bin. My Economics is piss-poor, but I think that type of business transaction is called a "purchase." And except for the two lovely's who flashed their breasts (god, bless 'em) we got very little in exchange for our donation to the parade.

Before you accuse me of calling the kettle a really dark shade of gray, let me clarify.
Yes, I was expecting on getting something out of the parade. But in the same way you expect to get something out of a hug. I just wanted to share and promote a good party vibe.

I was really hoping to look into the faces of my smiling fellow San Diegans as we drove by in the float. And I'm sure there were smiling faces in the crowd, but it was the demanding, screaming faces that stick out.

Next time, I'll tell em where they can shove their beads.
I feel pretty

Have you had a better Mardi Gras Experience?
(or bead experience of any kind)
Help me understand...

more whining like this in "Superbowl Rant"
something completely different in and "New Years Resolutions"

Prehensile Tales wonders what these people do with the beads.

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