I'm so romantic. Instead of telling Jen that I keep falling more in love with her I just say, "Each day I hate you less." She's like putty in my hands...
Recently I was trimming some trees in our yard. Although "trimming" isn't really the right word. "Trimming" is too pleasant. I was slicing open a living thing. Perhaps "decapitating" is better suited for what I was doing. I'm such a hippie...it actually got to me. I aggressively chopped away at a few trees to help clear the way on the sidewalk. Where I had cut was moist...like any open apendage might be. Later, we walked around to admire my yardwork/violent slashing and saw that one tree had dripped sap all over the ground. "It's bleeding!" Jen cried out. Oh man.
Yesterday was my Mom's sober birthday. She's gone 17 years without a drink of alcohol. Amazing. I couldn't be more impressed. Thanks Mom, in improving yourself you improved your family. We owe you one...
There are few people as groovy as my grandpa. He is a true teacher in the appreciation of life.
My most comfortable pair of shoes have developed a squeak. Actually, just the right one. Every step generates a slight squeak from the shoe -- one that says, "tee-hee, my shoes are funny. They talk to me and annoy everyone else." It's like when babies walk around and you hear their diapers make noise. Cute on a baby, annoying on a man-child like me.
When I flew to South America a few years ago, I sat between two priests during the flight to Peru. No, that's not the start of a joke ("Did you hear the one about the guy on the airplane between two priests?"). Looking to my left and then to my right I thought, "This has got to be the safest seat on this airplane." Sometime I'll write about the time I was in a bar with a twelve-inch pianist.
While promoting the movie 'xXx' on CollegeClub, I wrote an article listing '10 Truly Extreme Sports' that I'd like to see. Here is the article and here are a few from the list. Sky Meal Preparation Sky surfing, sky diving, parachuting...big deal. How about dicing onions and marinating chicken while freefalling from 10,000 feet? Body Art Algebra Perform five Algebraic equations (showing all work, of course) within a five-minute time limit...with a tattoo gun...on your own skin (any part of the body is acceptable). Scorpion Backgammon I think this one's pretty self-explanatory. Caffeine Art After drinking 5 cups of espresso, participants must stay within the lines while coloring a 'Sesame Street' coloring book. Each time an involuntary 'caffeine shake' causes the individual to draw outside the line, a point will be deducted. Bungee Contact Lens Removal One contact lens wearing participant must stand beneath a crane looking directly up with his eyes wide open. The partner bungees from 120 feet to casually remove the standing participant's contact lens before the bungee cord snaps the jumper back. Bungee jumper must have clean hands -- after all, we don't want anyone to get hurt.
My job gets so weird sometimes. Today, while trying to make sure no horribly negative usernames snuck through onto our site while our "banned word list" was down, I searched for usernames with the most ugly words imaginable. Starting with racial slurs and then working on into foul sexual terms. Hmm-mmm, nothing like co-workers walk by while you're doing a search on the word "cunt". Good stuff.
I've been so completely impressed by my grandpa Caleb lately. He is handling the "changing her residence to heaven" of my grandma in a way that amazes me. We celebrated what would have been their 65th wedding anniversary on July 4th and we sprinkled some of Carol's ashes by a rose bush dedicated in her honor. It was beautiful.
Here is my Grandpa's latest post concerning the concept of "Love Thy Neighbor".
I'm a lucky guy.
In a continuation of "the strangest life I've ever known", I was on MTV this past weekend. They were filming a Sex2K documentary titled "Naked on the Web" and they focused much of their show on my brother and his sex-positive event, Globalgasm. Here is my brother's recap of the show and an edited clip (at the top) of the parts of the show that include him (and me). I'm interviewed briefly around minute 4.
Now, when asked the question if I've been on MTV with my shirt off...I can say 'yes'.
At work, a friend's 10 year old son picked up a record (remember music records?) and looked at it closely. He looked at his mom and asked, "Is this like a big CD?"
Yep. I'm officially old. (But not that old, because I remember buying NWA's "Straight Outta Compton" on record. Awww yeah...)