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Star Robes (With Halcyon)

stories by Kaya:

Survival of The Fittest

Bannana Lessons



Teen Sex Flicks

"Having a Blast"

Buy Me Some Peanuts,
Cracker Jacks, and
Bring Me a Pillow

Older Men Scratching in Tight Pants


Real Audio:
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brother love




I love that The Family Feud didn't have fact-based answers. Regardless what might be the 'best' answer, they asked, "What would the typical person on the street say to this question?" In a way you were being tested on how stupid you thought people were. You were rewarded for thinking like the average.

"Top five answers on the board to the question... 'What do people think of when they think of France?'"
"Well.. I've heard a lot about a certain place in France and a hole in the wall... um... I'll say naked ladies dancing!"
"Good answer, good answer!"
"Survey Says?" (not "The correct answer is?")



The guy (possibly a cyborg) next to me at the gym bench-pressed 405 pounds. The metal bar was bending. Eight plates plus the bar. That's the weight of my brother, my girlfriend, and myself combined. When I saw the bar waver a bit as he pushed it up I made a motion towards him to assist him if need be.

Oookay, Kaya.

That's kind of like me stopping on the freeway to assist someone who's car has broke down. I will simply be of no help. "Hmmm, have you tried the "key" to the car" (I would make sure to make the quote marks with my hands when I said "key" - in fact, I just did it as I "typed".). "Let's have a look-see, shall we? Hmmm... now you're sure this is your car? Because not all keys will start all cars." I'd be useless. I learned my automotive mastering from my Pop. My Pop's a big fan of specializing skills... he'll judge in a court of law and you can fix cars. To each according to his ability? Hmmm... maybe he's a communist?

Silly no-car-fixing-pinko.


I work for an internet company. The most popular part of the site is e-mail. As a reminder, the "e" in "e-mail" stands for electronic mail. So what better way to promote your product than a letter opener? I found a bunch of old CollegeClub.com letter openers that were distributed as a promotion a while back.
"A letter opener! Finally! Well, well, well, Mr. paper envelope... the tables have turned now, haven't they?!"
Does anyone, much less online college students, need a letter opener? Do people have stacks of unopened mail sitting around... searching for some sort of Rosetta Stone to unlock the secrets within?

And while I'm ranting about office supplies - why would you need a paper weight? Except paper, what isn't a paper weight? To be a paper weight, all you need is mass. Everything on my desk, excluding paper, is capable of holding down paper. Besides, my office isn't outside on top of the Space Needle - there's surprising few gusts of paper-moving wind here.

There - now there are two things my family can cross of their potential office gifts for Kaya list. Which means that Troll Dolls skyrocket back to the top of the list! Hot Damn!


I think it's messed up that the word 'phonetic' is not.

And the word 'read' isn't easy to.

How doo we ever lern too reed?

A few major complaints:
Wednesday, Two, Psychology, Channukah, Gym, High,...



Dale Earnhardt died yesterday during the Daytona 500. I was bummed to hear that one of the greatest race car drivers of all time was killed. However, I don't really understand car racing to begin with and I don't understand the shock of the fans. Isn't the crashes one of the reasons to go to car racing? Isn't the fact that they're driving at reckless speeds and the potential for 180 mph accidents a draw to the sport? It seems like these men are gladiators... and sometimes gladiators die. When a bunch of men drive 200 mph right next to each other, someone may crash... and the cement wall that separates the thousands of fans from the speeding metal objects is rigid. The combination does not lend itself well to a safe occupation. Suddenly, my cubicle seems nice and cozy... and a bit boring.


There's two types of people in this world.

Those that think there are two types of people in this world and those that don't.

I obviously do.


Does anyone still run with heavy hands? (Those hand held, foam padded weights from the early 80's jogging boom) Why would you do that? Isn't jogging miserable enough?

Although, during my unsuccessful search for an image of heavy hands I *did* find an excellent site for nude running events.

Now *that* sounds uncomfortable. Hell, I don't even like walking down stairs in boxers. Less dangle = Mo better


Soul Rebel

I saw an amazing documentary last night on PBS titled "Bob Marley: Rebel Music". With adoring a deceased musician, there is obviously a limited amount of video footage, songs, and photographs. But this show had quite a bit I had never seen before and new interviews with his Mom (Cedella Booker), wife (Rita Marley), even the politician Edward Seaga. The former head of the UN said everywhere he went, Bob Marley was the symbol of freedom and The New York Times referred to Bob as, "the most influential artist of the second half of the 20th century." Take that Gerardo!

One of my favorite quotes by Bob is when a reporter asks him about the men who tried to kill him, shooting him in the arm and grazing his chest.
"Do you know who shot you?"
"Yeah" - Bob
"Were the men punished?"
"Nah... it's just one of dem tings."

No anger. No bitterness. Beautiful. I hope I can learn to love those that hate me. That includes you. =)


Happy Valentine's Day!


I moved in with Jen this weekend. I'm completely ready for this new chapter... it's just tough to leave my apartment. It was the first time I lived alone... the first time I was completely in charge of my world. I learned how much I liked that. I learned how much I liked my own company. I found myself enjoying my solitude so much, that I was happy when I would come home and see that my neighbors weren't home. But it's time for a new beginning.

Ollie helped me move. It's great to not own a truck, but have giving friends that do.

So... am I worried about living with my girlfriend? No. She is amazing and understanding and makes me smile.

Speaking of being understanding... isn't a a few nice words in an online journal way better than a gift for Valentine's Day? =)

- My "old" Apartment -


My cousin Tracy had a baby girl this week. She said, "I couldn't believe that no one said it would be that painful."


I thought that's all women say to pregnant women is how insanely painful the birth is. My cousin is a strong women with a pretty high threshold for pain. She's crashed motorcycles and traveled the world. I couldn't stop thinking about what she said. The pain of childbirth must be well beyond my imagination.

They say that passing a kidney stone is the best pain comparison for a man. As my friend Tevya pointed out, "Yeah, but when you're done giving birth you have a child... when you're done passing a kidney stone you have a little rock." And I would cherish my rock and give it all the things I never had.

Maybe we should soften up the kidney stone process and say you "give birth" to a stone. "Passing a stone" sounds too much like flatulence. Then men can also know the proud feeling of nurturing something in our body and bringing into the world.


-- An open letter to the wives/girlfriends of the world --

When sharing a bed, the middle section cannot be "your half".


My most wonderful and amazing cousin Tracy had a baby girl last nite.

Welcome to the world Harper Lee.

Big hugs to Tracy and Rob.

The world just got a little bit better.


While driving home last nite, I saw a man with a "Baby on Board" sign attached to his back window.

I don't know what to say to make that any more funny.


This morning I saw a car with a "FOR SALL" sign in the window.

That's sweet... I wonder if Sall got them anything?


I'd hate to be an internet cop... I mean - what do you do when you need to go after someone?

"Calling all cars... we're on the lookout for BigDong69... I repeat, BigDong69."

"Yeah, we're gonna need a typing analysis... can you please type "Show us your tits? and "Are you naked". Damn! It's not him... he always uses asterisks around the word *tits* and writes the word "nekkid" instead of 'naked'."

"You're out there somewhere BigDong69... and you'll eventually slip up. And when you do - I'll be there!"


Wow - the "Temptation Island" frenzy is disturbing. My good friend Al was talking about it tonite... with fervor. Hearing him discuss the intricacies of the show and it's participants/characters was both amusing and slightly haunting... he didn't even have a TV set 6 months ago. The power of tan skin and relationship turmoil is strong.

I have my own ideas for a reality-island show. It's called VD Island. Similar premise to "Temptation Island" except that one guy and one girl have a venereal disease. Everyone can sleep with everyone... but you just might contract "the clap." It's a ratings dream. Advertisers? Oh yeah... who wouldn't want to have their product associated with genital sores?

I promise to never type the words "genital sores" again.

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Kaya photos by Julian