happy birthday to me!
happy birthsay to meeeeee!

27 years old. And I'm cool like dat.

via the prehensile pager:
"Though John is surely no slob
Lack of sex is making him sob
Just one birthday wish
Won't some tasty dish
Just give him a sloppy blow job.
happy birthday -Jim"

a birthday card (75K) by Laudanum
more birthday pages below

  • John Styn is a stud, so I'm told
    And with women can be rather bold
    But girls can be fierce
    Since his nipple was pierced
    Just a tug and he'll do what he's told

    -happy birthday

  • a halcyon haiku:

    crotch full of produce.
    Fruit of the loom tries to fight.
    They get a wedgie.

    Happy birthday.

  • A stud by the name of John Styn
    Has a nipple through which there's a pin
    With hair down to his ass
    He tokes on some grass
    All much to his mother's chagrin

    -happy birthday

  • Monster Women from Mars wish you a happy birthday

  • A twisted young fellow I know
    His website can give quite a show
    Tales cause lawyers to shreik
    And this boy to think
    In his garden what plants does he grow?

    -happy birthday

  • Happy Birthday Big Boy!!!
    Not like the hints weren't subtle for attention or anything?!?!
    Commere and lemme lick you....=)

  • Twenty-seven years ago, on this very day,
    A woman named Sue gave birth to a babe.
    She called him John David, though he'd later change that,
    To John Halcyon, as a matter of fact.
    But from this call's purpose, I fear that I stray,
    Allow me to come back to this special day.
    This May 28, when our world was blessed,
    With my friend John. He's just.... The best.

  • It's not really a happy birthday until you get laid. Hope you have a happy, happy Bday! - Miguel

  • happy birthday you big ol' stud

  • Here's a little story bout a man named John
    A man so hot, rarely kept his boxers on.
    Then one day after puffin on some buds,
    He drove to LA to join the cast of STUDS.
    Game show, that is. Fantasies. Movie stars.

    next thing you know old john's been shot down.
    three hot babes said "get outta town".
    not the type of guy who really likes to fail,
    he shared all his angst in a prehensile tale.
    web site. piss your pants funny.

    happy birthday, halcyon.

  • happy bday stud love pop(ileftoutacomma)

  • Halcyon...get lucky yet? Let us know! Happy Birthday baby! Love, Jessi

  • you better wang chung tonight.... it is your birthday, for Christ's sake.

  • there once was a boy named john,
    he was always obsessed with his dong,
    he'd take of his shirt
    in hopes of doing some skirt,
    but usually ended up at home with his bong

    .... hope you catch that skirt! Happy b-day hot stuff! Vanessa =)

  • hippo birdie two ewe, hippo birdie deer ewe, hippo birdie two ewe.... yeah, we know your fettish with ewe's there.... happy bday studly

  • B I T C H I N C Y B E R B I R T H D A Y H U G S F R O M Y O U R Q U E E R B U D I N L. A.

  • It's May 28 in Japan: O Tanjoobi omedetou, o tanjoobi omedetou, o tanjoobi omedetou Halcyon san! O tanjoobi omedetou! (guess a melody)

  • Happy Birthday on Thursday. Man, I"ll be so fucking out of it on Thursday, so I wanted to wish you it now. Keep vibin'. MORE PAGES!!!

birthday refelction:
Life is good
  • My days are filled with love.
  • I have magical friends and family.
  • I'm following my passion to write...and people are reading!
  • I'm healthy and I feel strong.
  • I am growing as a person and developing my capacity to love.
  • I am grateful for every day.
Thank you everyone who has taken the time to read one of my Tales. It means more to me than you can imagine.

OK, enough sincere crap...lets get back to penis humor.