Not everyone would have been as forgiving as Monica

Wag THIS Dog.
One minute slick Willy is shooting semen at his Intern, the next he's shooting missiles at terrorists. Some people have said this "war-as-distraction" is just TOO similar to the recent movie "Wag The Dog."

Puleease. The president's council are the sneakiest bastards on the planet. I'm sure they could have thought of a better way to get Bill out of his PR pickle.

Here's my suggestion:
Have Bill fake his own death.

It worked for Bruce Lee and Jim Morrison. And now that I think about it, Ol' Bill is like a combination of Bruce Lee and Jim Morrison. Enter the Dragon. Break on Through. My Fellow Americans.

He could do it in a fire. He could run into a carefully orchestrated burning building to save a helpless child. Then he'd go back in to save the family fish (the pet, not the dinner) and never return. He would slip through a trap door and the press would assume he died of smoke inhalation. Oh. That won't be believable. President Clinton doesn't inhale smoke.

I've got it! Do an Airforce One re-write where The President takes a dive instead of Gary Oldman. Bill's no Harrison Ford, but I think he could carry the role. When Clinton is "thrown" from the plane, he'll secretly parachute to safety.

Clinton will go down in history as "The President Who Fought Terrorism To The Death" and the Democratic Party will be back on its feet for the 2000 election.

I really should get more involved in politics.

other quasi-political Tales:

Appliance of Liberation
The Caserole Revolution

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