PT Fun-O-Rama

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Survival of the Fittest
by Kaya Styn

We have gone reality TV crazy.
We've come full circle. Wacky shows about aliens and talking horses no longer entertain us. Now we crave to watch us sit on a couch and argue.
People just like us.
With faults.
And unwitty comments.
And no laugh track to remind us what is funny.

It's kind of like what happened to porn a few years ago where "Amateur Porn" became popular. The 'characters' of porn became so outlandish and the scenes so formulaic that we craved to watch our neighbors 'do it'. In bad light. With love handles and blemishes. And awkward camera angles. Then again, there's little in our society that can't be paralleled to the porn industry.

So now, we have The Real World, Road Rules, Survivor, Big Brother, COPS, and more. I can't imagine who picks folks for these shows.

"Let's see...let's make the abortion doctor room with the priest...and the bi-polar-Nazi-tweaker-beauty queen go on a safari with...no wait...even better, let's just lock her in a room of all mirrors and give her nothing but Boone's Farm Wine and film it."

I can't help but think these programming executives were the same people that as kids put a bee and a spider in a jar and shook it up vigorously to hoping to get them to fight. Same principle for these shows, really. You know who I'm talking about...the same people that, in junior high, danced around the two guys squaring off chanting, "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" click to shake jar! 66k

The Big Brother show is truly disturbing. Is anyone tuning in to see them interact and communicate? To see if they get along? Hell no! We're waiting for them to go insane. I won't watch it for a few more weeks...not until I know they're going crazy. I think a better idea would be to put cameras up in a mental health facility. They're already crazy! Let the hilarity begin! click to shake jar! 66k

Survivor is pretty captivating, I'll have to say. But I still can't believe what some people chose for their one, that's right ONE, luxury item.

One thoughtful guy brought a toothbrush. Which, I might add, they all ended up sharing -- thus benefiting the entire group. Someone else brought a ukulele. A uku-freakin-lele! Are you kidding me?! First week, I'm voting you off. No question. Another person brought The Bible. I respect their beliefs and I think it would be interesting to discuss religion as we say grace before our rat dinner...but as your ONE luxury item!? When we're trying to catch a RAT for DINNER, you know what I don't need? A uke-freakin-lele and a Bible! Bring something we can use, like a fruit roll-up or hand-held electronic slot machine. click to shake jar! 66k

Mr. Ed, where are you and your wise words when we need you. Wait, that's it!!! Farm Real World...with real animals...not these fancy, show animals like Babe and Beethoven (or that show-off Air Bud), but real, stinky, natural animals. No make-up, no animation, no perfect camera angles to make them look 'hot'. Just the real animals in their real environment. Sit back and watch the inter-species tension build.

Or maybe we should turn off the TV and stick to watching bees and spiders in jars. click to shake jar! 66k

other Kaya tales

"Having a Blast"

Donuts

Teen Sex Flicks

Bleed

Banana Lessons

Prehensile Tales would be disqualified for canibalism

d e s i g n by h a l c y o n