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-quest for fire-

I have serious problem with child-proof lighters. I think "Fire-Proof Lighters" is a more accurate name for these plastic puzzle boxes.. When I reach for a lighter, my herbally-weakened mind is screaming,
"ME WANT FIRE NOW!"

I am NOT in the mood for a test of manual dexterity. Iím not ready for a labyrinth of levers and switches which must be pressed in the correct order to create a miraculous ignition.

If I wanted a challenge, I would try to make fire by rubbing sticks together. Technology is supposed to make my life easier. The concept of a lighter is to provide flame in a manner less labor intensive then the archaic match.

 

Call me reactionary, but wouldnít supervision be a more reasonable way to curb toddler arson? If you donít want children to play with fire, keep your lighter away from them. Do they make child-proof flame throwers? Certainly we donít want children playing with flame-throwers!!??

 

I believe that the child-proof lighter is a government plot to turn Americaís recreational drug-users into dependent addicts: The harmless stoner becomes so frustrated trying to operate his Rubix-cube lighter, that he forgets his weed and turns straight to harder, more addictive, easy to swallow drugs. Thus the previously open-minded voter becomes another pawn, slave to his addiction and oblivious to Wal-Martís mind-rape of American CultureÖeither that, or I've watched too many X-files.



Prehensile Tales finds "burning hair" to be a poor type of fuel.



Copyright © 1997 Prehensile Tales.


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