"Must See Adult TV"
After a porn-related radio show and Wrds entry, I got to thinking.
Finances prohibit me from buying as much porn as I'd like. But I still watch plenty. And I've seen enough to know that most is crap. It bums me out to think that there are people out there who were exposed to "bad" porn and then decided that they didn't like it (throwing the baby out with the dirty, degrading bathwater). So, I've decided to share a "must-see" list for the aspiring porn connoisseur. If you watch the following films and still think porn is gross and non-erotic, then you've at least made an educated decision (and I'll stop trying to trick you into watching "Yank My Doodle, It's a Dandy" with me).
Halcyon's Top 10 Porns:
*listed together because they are available on a single tape
There is a scene in Erotic Visions that blows my mind. A Jessica Rabbit-proportioned porn star named Olivia rolls around on a shiny black tarp. She pours oil over herself and then…Hands start to reach through the plastic! 6 or 8 black latex covered arms and hands come through the tarp and begin to caress her. It is artistic and erotic. I want to put it on a loop and play it at parties.
*If you have no exposure to porn, buy this tape today. (It is SO worth it. 4 movies for 10 bucks? please. I give it to friends and relatives on birthdays.)
DreamQuest is simply well done. Beautiful people filmed in flattering ways. I say people because there are so many unattractive male porn stars. To me, it matters. I want to be able to fantasize that woman is at least having the potential for a fantasy encounter, too. This one has nice costumes, sets and Jenna Jameson. The Director should be proud.
*note: there is a scene in this movie filmed on a drawbridge. I actually swam under that bridge while skinny dipping at a swing party. No lie.
one that feels like a real movie. I hate the camcorder feel. Somehow I have
an easier time believing the women aren't being exploited when it's shot
and edited with an artistic eye. Not sure if that's logical or not.
There's actually a scene filmed on a pirate ship.
|"Bobby Sox "||Has a nice forklift-as-sextoy scene. Well, a couple goes at it while *on* a forklift…the forklift doesn't actually penetrate anything.|
|"Shock"||Lots of fetish gear. CRAZY sci-fi plot and dialogue. I actually enjoy letting this one run a while after I…um…"finish." There is a scene where Jenna Fine is made up to look like a Marilyn Monroe B&W movie come to life.|
|"Latex"||"Latex" is the precurser to "Shock." The movies also are noteworthy for the computer graphics. Yup. You don't see a lot of porns with special effect budgets.|
|"Sex"||You gotta appreciate the directness of the title. It's on the list for the title alone, actually.|
(note: the first 4 movies are available on one cassette for $10 from VideoAge.com. I HIGHLY recommend it. The others are linked to DVD versions but VHS is also available. If you buy through these links, I get a portion. This is a company that I order from regularly. The 4-packs are especially good deals. And the prices on the big name titles listed above are competitive. Heh...not to pressure you or anything.)
Cocky Porn Stuff:
back to prehensile or cockybastard.com