"Did the Tale, "Meat of The Loom" affect YOUR impressions of the fine quality undergarments of the FotL product line? "
Dear "Fruit of the Loom,"
It has come to our attention that your company is in violation of our famous Catholic prayer:
"Blessed be Mary, Mother of God, and the fruit of thy womb, Jesus."

Your company has taken these holy words in vain by naming your product "Fruit of the Loom."

Taking this phrase about Our Savior and using it to sell undergarments is both blasphemous and a trademark violation.

You have five days to rename your underwear or face excommunication. And gentlemen, there are no support briefs in Hell (though there are plenty of lawyers there).
Cardinal O'Connor (Jeffrey Zeldman)
Your tale has not only promoted their flesh-hugging wares, it has also shown me the versatility of their elastic panacea. I now use their "tighty whities" as a vegetable collander, a makeshift bridle (don't ask), and as a super-absorbent head band.
Yes, I read your informative 'meat of the loom' article. In fact, As soon as I read your article, I immediately burned all my fruit of the loom underwear. Then, I went to local underwear retailers and 'liquidated' them of their FotL stock. This is how your article affected my opinion of FotL, At one time I regarded them as the elite of the underwear kingdom. Now, I am disgusted by them, In fact, I've ceased wearing traditional underwear all together. Now, I make my own underwear, Out of saran wrap.
Quite the opposite, in fact I was so raptured by the perfidious tale that I immediately went out, bought all of the packages of fruit of the loom classic (old man) briefs my credit limit allowed, and then rolled naked in the nice fresh undies to the rockin' tunes of the Big Chill soundtrack. I am currently taking donations to purchase that commodity known as a "life".
-Pete M.
Man, give me a break! Those fruit of the loom tighty whities are WACK! Its all about the Hane's boxers.I like to keep my little friends in the nether regions happy. choking the hell out of them in those departement store cotton constriction machines that "FotL" calls briefs is not the way to do it. I think of it as a long airplane trip to say... Iraq, or some other popular vacation spot. on the way there, you would be pissed if you had to stay in your seat the whole way, all buckled down. Likewise, junior needs to have the freedom to breathe, and move about "the cabin" freely, if you know what I mean. I think you get my point. Free-ballers must unite against the man! Good Luck
You're Tale had nothing to do with the quality undergarments. The parody merely satirized their advertising methods....and deservedly so. You're Tale could in no way influence anyone on whether or not to buy their product. People buy underwear based on fit, comfort and price. Not based on the picture on the label. Their blatant attempts at censorship, however, will keep me from ever buying from their company, including anything under any of their brands: Fruit of the Loom, BVD, Gitano, Best, Cumberland Bay, Screen Stars, Munsingwear, Wilson, Botany 500, and John Henry. I've never heard of half of those brands produced by them, but I'll be sure to avoid them in the future.
I think homo-centric sites like yours are clearly frontal assault units on the War Against American Masculinity. I am not surprised that the ever-vigilant legal beagles down at Fruit of the Loom, whose products I have trusted as a veritable vault for the family jewels for years, did not take this lying down with their legs in the air. You oughta be ashamed at contributing, under the guise of humor, to the erosion of the values and backbone that have made this country a fortress of manly uprightitude.
- Steve Silberman
No, because i personally don't wear tighty-whities. However, I do see their attempted oppression of your site as a classic case of DA MAN tryin' to keep a brotha' down. Fuck FotL, keep it real!
- Amish G
No, the tale didn't affect my impressions of the fine quality undergarments of the FotL product line.

Of course, I don't buy them any more. I'm a 'Calvin Klein' man now. Sure, they don't last as long as FotL, but they're cooler.

Besides, I'm gay, and FotL are incredibly heterosexual undergarments, in spite of the name. And it was made very clear to me at the homosexual induction center (where they 'recruited' me all those years ago) that FotL were to be off limits from that point forward. I came out of the closet, and stopped wearing them.

News of their uptightness on this petty legal matter only tells me that I made the right decision. Maybe gay men DO have some 'sensiblity' after all!
"Fruit of the Loom" =
"fitful homo tore", "fool home fur tit", "tuff homo loiter", "huff toilet room", "forfeit hum tool", "thief of loom rut"
Not at all. In fact, I'm looking forward to this extension of the product line. Fine undergarments made of all-natural meat products are a niche that's been too long overlooked in America. It's time we all worked together to put our money where our meat is!
- byrne
Sorry I am a boxer man tried and true. Anything looming (or loom-like for that matter) in my shorts needs its freedom. Still, casting FotL marketing folks as "heads" may have upset them a bit. Then again, as you said anyone that came up with guys in fruit suits has got to be a bit out there.
- Jockeys in Japan
I have not purchased "Fruit of the Loom" underwear in years. I will remember the fact that they cannot take a joke and not consider their brand in the future.

Too bad they Fruit of the Loom cannot be more like the Johnson & Johnson Company. Those folks found out that someone put up a Web page talking about Band-Aids. They contacted the people who created the site, pointed out some facts that were incorrect, and gave them information they did not have to make the site even better. Why? Because a customer that is loyal enough to create a Web site is helping foster continued sales. Maybe the Fruit of the Loom Company might want to remember that in the future.

Have a lovely day.

I went through this same bullshit with Planet Hollywood. They sued me for making a parody of their logo on my Web site, "Planet Wally." Remember, the laws governing parody exist to specifically allow this type of humor.

Have a lovely day.
- Wally Glenn

No, but their violation of your right to publish parody did effect my opinion of them, that's for damn sure.
-Alexis Massie
I certainly have to agree with the majority: the tale had no effect on my opinion, but the legal response leaves me sickened. I believe you are well within your rights to parody. Honestly, they should count how many hits their web site received from the link from your page before considering this tale "damaging" to their property!
-Markleford Friedman
I think we should all start wearing cod-pieces again. :)
Sic 'em.
- The Galactic Janitor
No, but having them
harass you makes me
sure I'll never buy
their products again.
-- Derek M. Powazek
I should think that FotL would consider it publicity there are just enough people out there that would go out of their way just to buy a pair now. As for me I prefer men in boxers so FotL briefs have very little appeal to me.
Um, no, actually I thought "Meat of The Loom" was hysterical. When are these big ole corporations gonna learn that no good press comes from the huge and money hungery biz trying to squash the young and creative. Good luck!!
Not in the least. However, the lawsuit they decided to level against you has, irrevocably, changed my opinion of FotL's business practices. No more will I see them as a bunch of fun-loving folks, concerend only with girding my loins in most comfortable way possible. Now, tragically, I feel that FotL is now comprised mostly of nitpicking lawers who could do with a little less starch.
It was my understanding that "meat of the loom" was simply a witty observation of the inherent silliness implied when giving an udergarment a name that includes the word "fruit". I do not believe that this tale was meant to slander or bear any insult to Fruit of the Loom garments, nor did it in any way imply said brand was in any way inferior, or at all BAD. I most certainly did not interpret this tale to have any bearing upon my opinion of Fruit of the Loom undies, and I DO own some, and they are indeed good undies, despite (or possibly because of) the inherently humorous name.
Not at all. But their subsequent lack of sense of humor certainly did.
I bought myself six dozen!
no! no self-respecting man would wear those tighie whities in the first place
Not at all. Love your site, but frankly I think Meat of the Loom was one of your weakest "tales". Anyhow, do we or do we not enjoy freedom of speech in this fine country? Or should we sue at the first sign of criticism, in whatever form it takes? Love ya, mean it, must dash. Arch
Did the Tale, "Meat of The Loom" affect YOUR impressions of the fine quality undergarments of the FotL product line?

name (optional)

url (optional)

"Yes, I'm for freedom of speech
...even against large corporations."

Prehensile Tales prefers boxers.

Copyright © 1997 Prehensile Tales.

d e s i g n by h a l c y o n

back back

updated 4.11.98