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Doggy Style
Recently I heard on the news
about a gardener who was convicted of having sexual relations with one of
his client's dogs. The family saw that their dog became unusually excited
whenever the gardener came around. So they set up a hidden video camera and
caught him in the act. Imagine gathering around the Sony for that viewing. " Daddy, What's the gardener doing to
Ruff-Ruff?
How come Ruff-Ruff's tail never wags that way
when I pet him?"
Don'tcha think that if you had some sort of Dog
fetish, you'd just pick up a sexy one down at the pound? This guy had a
great thing going and he messed it up! If there was a county agency that
had kennels full of MY fetish objects (big breasted brunette women) don't
think for a minute that I would blow it by messing with my neighbor's
brunette! (ed. note: If anyone IS aware of an agency like this, please e-mail me)
I'd just pick one out at the pound, bring her home, and keep to
myself, thank you very much.
Sex with dogs sure brings up some
interesting questions. Like, Is a wagging tail considered consent? And what
makes an attractive dog? Are there feminine and masculine dogs? I kind of
think that all dogs are masculine; they smell bad, they're awkward, and
they get excited easily. Cats on the other hand are quite feminine. They're graceful, soft, and mysterious. If I was gonna have sex with
an animal, it'd definitely be a cat...cause I ain't no fag!
Speaking of acting on fetishes, If I ever decide that I'm a pedophile and
want to touch little children, I'm gonna make sure I bring a circus animal
with me. That way, when they haul my perverted ass into court, my lawyer can
say during cross examination, "...and while Mr. Styn was touching you on
your privates, you say there was a giraffe in the room?....no further questions
your honor." (I'm just saying IF)
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