"What is Prehensile Tales?"
PT is a digital
home for my phallic-centric ramblings. If I don't purge these thoughts
online, they pop up in everyday conversations and get me in trouble.
You'd be amazed how quickly a family gathering gets awkward when you
mention "plastic fuck dolls."
It'll make more sense after you read some Tales.
2) "Who are you?"
Why, I am Halcyon.
3) "Where is the Ron Jeremy stuff?!"
More people find prehensile.com by searching for "ron+jeremy" than any
Talk About Ron Jeremy" is about the ol' Hedgehog.
"me and ron jeremy"
is a Tattle Tale written by an old friend of Ron's.
The second most searched for phrase? "dog+sex"
4) "Do you write all the Tales?"
Unless otherwise stated, all writing and design is by me. Occasionally
I'm lucky enough to get guest writers such as my Brother, Kaya.
Guest Writers also contribute to Tattle
5) "How often is PT updated?"
It used to be every week. Now its whenever I get a whim. Check the cockybastard.com
weblog for my latest stuff.
"What is cockybastard.com?"
is my webby-award winning personal site. It contains all the pics, ponderings,
and playthings that don't fit in Prehensile Tales.
Lots of cheesy beefcake photos and intoxicated thoughts.
6) "What are 'Tales'?"
'Tales' are stories/gags/parodies/whatever that are short enough to
read while your boss isn't looking and funny enough to make you piss
7) "Okay, then what is 'prehensile'?"
Prehensile is a word meaning "adapted for seizing or grasping" It is
usually used to describe a monkey's prehensile tail. Now, I spell
it "prehensile tales" so it means, "stories that'll grab
The guys at the zoo all thought it was very clever.
8) "Did you get sued by Fruit of the
Kinda, sorta. They served me with a cease and desist. Get the scoop
in Suit of the Loom
9) "Are you gay?"
I wish. I'm a political bisexual. I would have sex with a man.
I just haven't found one I'm attracted to yet. Women, on the other hand,
leave me dizzy.
10) "Okay, then what is Tattle Tales?"
Tattle Tales is
a collection of "True Stories of Sex, Madness, and The Planet," not
written by me.
11) "So you take submissions?"
I prefer submisSIVES. Occasionally I do take submissions, but not at
have a question?