4/1/00

did you know that in ancient Greece protective spirits of the dead were called phylaktes? Hmmmmm...prophylactics? phylkates?...Naw, couldn't be

3/31/00

Ever see "Dharma and Chuck?" It's kinda like "Dharma and Greg" except Chuck's a Sleestack and likes to rearrange the portal crystals, thus fucking with Dharma's world. They have a gay Macaque named Greg that always dry-humps Chuck's extra rubber suit.

3/30/00

My wife just had a baby - talk about a peak experience! But - um - the baby kind of looks like you. Is there something you should be telling me?

The Halcyon show! with special guests: Homer Simpson, Tony Danza & Beavis, featuring a wrestling match between Tina Turner and Keven Bacon, in the 8 hour epic live from his dads basement, with special music from his amazing farting armpits! Don't miss it!

3/28/00

I act so much like one of the guys that people sometimes think I have a penis. "No I don't", I tell them, "But I have a very nice place to put one."

Mary had a little lamb, The Doctor was suprised.

3/27/00

So I slip off all of my clothes and call up your website, all ready to give you want you want and then, at the last possible moment, I notice you're accepting naked mAssages. I coulda sworn it said messages. Now my co-workers are staring.

I was just told in a random ICQ message that I'm "a great klay". I'd like to clear this up here and now: I am a lousy lousy klay.

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