2/26/00

Is there a legal limit to the number of grill spatulas you can stick up your butt? I think I may be dangerously close....

2/25/00

Don't cut your hair--think about the children.

A year ago at my college, two men ran for President/Vice President of Student Body. Presidential candidate was Mike Early. VP was Tom Seamen. Their slogan was "Early-Seamen: Sounds like a problem, but it's really a solution." They lost.

I work night shift.. coffee is good.. I love coffee.. drink it, bathe in it, pray to it.. praise the folgers, the buzz and the holy gear-it up and lets get going, we have liftoff! Mocha? Latte? Enema?? one lump or 2?? how do you take yours?

2/24/00

you are my web god. or goddess. whatever you prefer. I am currently forming a bronze statuette of you to put in my living room. a little shrine to Halcyon. As a statue, would you prefer to be naked or clothed?

2/23/00

Please don't cut your hair, I really like it. It reminds me of top ramen!

know what? if i saw you on the street, i would hug you.

A clean otter is a warm otter, as skin oils and air bubbles are infused into the fur during grooming.

Halcyon, It's Santa. I've been watching you, son, and we both know I've got this "naughty or nice" list. Tell you what, if you can discreetly drop some porn off at the North Pole, we'll call is even. Unmarked packaging, please. Mrs. Claus can't know.

2/22/00

put on a blue shirt and blue pants and with that hat, you look like a q-tip. Perfect! A Halcyon q-tip of love. I just know where to insert you!

I dont understnad your website, are you a girl? Prehensibles girl friend?

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