1/8/00

I feel sorry that you're a man.. I mean you don't have many fun ways to masturbate.. I just got one of those detachable shower heads and lemme tell ya.. Make me think God's a woman too.

1/7/00

I had a strange dream last night, Halcyon. You were a Himilayan cat with a pouty face and I was a bowl of cream... I guess I'm more sick than I thought.

1/6/00

ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS THE FUTURE CALLING... BOY O BOY, WAIT 'TILL YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU THIS SUMMER... YOU'LL BE GRINNING FROM EAR TO THAT SCAR WHERE THE OTHER EAR USED TO BE. SHIT, I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.

Lesson one: Don't jerk of in the dark near a playful cat. Lesson two: Hard-ons bleed like a motherfucker.

1/5/00

Of course it doesnt stand for paranoid turtle, it stands for pubescent terripin.

i touch myself in the bath. strictly for research purposes though

1/4/00

PT does not stand for Paranoid Turtle.... "I think my shell is following me!!!"

1/3/00

I have nipples the size of susan b. anthony silver dollars. I have trained them with clothes pins for the horrors you wish to bestow upon them. I only request you do not bite them off, and if you must, save the flesh so i can get stitches later.

Thanks a lot Halcyon! Now my fingers are all wet and slippery!

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