pages of the week!
12/22/99
Strange old men in wearing red velvet are turning up where ever I go calling me a 'ho'. I mean, I know that small orgy I had a few weeks ago wasn't exactly angelic, but this persecution is a little much! And how the hell did they find out?

Do you know what it's like to be cooped up for 10 hours with Juanita the Wonder Bitch???

12/21/99
I am TOTALLY into a scrotum slapping against my chin. But it never happens often enough. Could you help me out here?

12/20/99
I am sick of all the wasted fruitcakes that get thrown away on christmas! Thats why I am inventing a penis shaped fruitcake mold. It the gift that keeps on giving!!!! Want to be a test subject?

The best thing about snowmen? Snowballs!

12/19/99
I'd just like to share a beautiful experience with you: I came home drunk and jerked off to my new lesbian porn film. (Two women tried picking me up but it was improbable they'd go for it together so I chose the VCR)

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