Jeffrey Zeldman presents is 7 years old. Jeffrey was the first site I went to online. I've since shared many stories and memories with him and consider him a treasured friend. He is what the web should be. An innovator. An artist. A self-explorer. A rebel. And over-flowing with love. Congrats on 7 years. The web is a much better place because of you.

Lynn sent me this entry from a wonderful blog "Ecstasy and despair are interruptions of an otherwise dull life. Let's say it together: Ecstasy and despair are interruptions of an otherwise dull life. That's eating life and tasting life and letting the juices drip down your neck and over your breasts. That's getting in the muck of things and taking a side. That's jumping into the fray. That's saying yes to love even though you know the chances of you making it out intact are pretty fucking slim. That's riding the scary rides because the thrill makes you feel like you're flying and forgetting about all those bolts and pins and safety mechanisms holding the ride together. That's chasing the pretty butterfly with the colorful wings and forgetting that in between that flash of bright yellow and deep purple is the ugliest bug you will ever see." I love the internet. Constantly proving to me that my fellow humans are amazing.

I think I'm close to a final globalgasm card design. I think I may get 2x5 cards printed. [note: I posted that at 4:54 am...I may have to look over my work with a rested head)

The widow of Daneile Pearl gave birth to their son. When I read Mariane Pearl's statement months ago I was in awe. 'They Did Not Take My Spirit' excerpt: "Revenge would be easy, but it is far more valuable in my opinion to address this problem of terrorism with enough honesty to question our own responsibility as nations and as individuals for the rise of terrorism. My own courage arises from two facts. One is that throughout this ordeal I have been surrounded by people of amazing value. This helps me trust that humanism ultimately will prevail. My other hope now--in my seventh month of pregnancy--is that I will be able to tell our son that his father carried the flag to end terrorism, raising an unprecedented demand among people from all countries not for revenge but for the values we all share: love, compassion, friendship and citizenship far transcending the so-called clash of civilizations. " Amazing. Inspiring. Extending love even when the world slaps you around. People like Pearl's window are heroes. Continuing to love is HARD. Keeping faith in the world can be as difficult as running into a burning building. But it is just as important. Spreading love in the face of pain *is* heroic. May the Pearl clan continue to inspire.

5.30.2002 Jacob redesigned his site! if you are ever in San Diego, you should see him speak. He also talks in Palm Springs and Santa Barbara requently.

Dlove came over today. So after we had Thai for lunch I convinced him to be in a photo shoot. Kelly took the pic, and then I made a new version of the Globalgasm card: GLOBALGASM is SATURDAY!!!! If you can, print out some flyers and give 'em out!

Once a year, Jan reminds me to read this wonderful story about a little soul. This morning it brought tears to my eyes.

5.29.2002 I'm be live on webcam w/ Streaming Audio today at 5pm PST. Group Hug at 6

music recommendation

Wow. bday photos and bday reflections.

5.28.2002 Triumph the insult dog attacks the Clones.

I'm now offically "in my thirties." a peek at the first 30 years

"Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes; and adversity is not without comforts and hopes." Francis Bacon, Sr.

5.27.2002 Just got an email from MTV. The show has been pushed to July 4th. "Born (naked) on the 4th of July...!"

Feeling better. Anchored. Still without a destination, but with more confidence that I'll find the right direction. Mathew reminded me that its all so simple: "Are you coming from Love or Fear?"

5.26.2002 Yesterday I loved my life. Today I want to trade it in. More whining from me is now online.

It appears the virus emails I'm getting (20-30 a day) are from people with the Klez virus. (subjects like: "so cool a flash,enjoy it" or "japanese girl VS playboy") Virus info. I just ran the Klez virus tool on my computer. It said I didn't have it. The removal tool is here.

5.25.2002 Reasons Why I Love My Life #43 I was nude sunbathing and reading a "Mutant Message Down Under" by the pool. Roomate Isabel came outside with a tray of eggs, potatoes, toast and adornments for a pre-birthday "breakfast in loungechair." Divine.

Saw Spiderman yesterday and then had a nice birthday dinner with Kaya last night. Today I'm working on the Globalgasm video and alphabetizing my porn.

5.24.2002 Did a minor facelift to Barbarella's site last night before we went out dancing. Designing and dancing...that's my kinda night.

5.23.2002 Note: two firewire devices connected to one machine can be problematic. Note: making monkey noises and screaming at the ports "OBEY! OBEY!" makes little to no difference in computer performance.

one cool thing about living in a cam house is that I can invite friends world-wide to attend my birthday party (virtually, at least.) I can’t promise I’ll be coherent, but I’d love to see you online Tuesday (28th) or Saturday (1st)

5.22.2002 Radio show at 5:15 today. I'll wax poetic about my brother. And babble about porn, I'm sure.

I just bought a 120 gig external hard drive. 120 gigs. Wow. My excuses for producing a video project are running out.

Happy Birthday to my brother. He is my closest connection on the earth. He inspires me and anchors me. I feel so lucky to share a lifetime with him. I redesigned his site for his bday.

5.21.2002 I'm trying to design a Globalgasm invitation (business card-sized). Wanna vote on the best front/back design? Or suggest changes?

Watching this video explanation of HugNation, I was surprised at my severity. I was kinda embarassed, actually. Obviously, the taste of 9-11 in my mouth was much stronger then. But, from what I can see on the news, things are getting worse. Terrorist threat is HIGH. Maybe its time for me to stop caring about ambarassment and be "severe" about whatever it is I choose to do. music is Marlo Thomas and Friends' "Free To Be You and Me."

5.20.2002 I'm getting ready to put together a globalgasm documentary-type thing. My dilemma is drive space. I either need to erase a ton of video I've used in past projects, or buy more storage. So it comes down to work and hard decisions, or paying for an external hard drive. I'm leaning towards another HD. Its the same as my life. I could go through the piles of crap I have...instead I make a new pile. :( And speaking of bad habits, I'm doing piss-poor in reducing my time spent online/in email.

Barbarella sent me this quote: “Each smallest act of kindness reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it’s passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.” - This Momentous Day, H.R. White It seems pretty close to what I was trying to say with my philosophy.

Yay! Flare wrote today's Uber. And I didin't even realize Uber was updating again! And speaking of not knowing things... Was The Simpsons on at 7:30 last night!? Wtf!? With all the SPAM I get, you think one of them would have mentioned this?! Or maybe it did and I just ignored it? "HOT TEEN PUSSY HAS SIMPSONS SCHEDULING MESSAGE FOR YOU!!!

5.19.2002 Posted a new wrds about my community

The dispair I was feeling last Wed. was important...but I think it made it's point and then left.

5.18.2002 I think watching an entire DVD of "Sex in the City" episodes in one evening is too many. It made me want to give up on dating and take up smoking.

5.17.2002 After a bunch of wonderful emails the last few days, I realized I am not alone. So I'm taking the next step and actually asking for help. Want to help me out? Want a sticker? Want to be a Digital Intimacy Intern? Check the permalink above next to "sex."

5.16.2002 Happy Birthday, Ariel and Derek!

Yesterday was odd. For those of you who tuned in to the radio show and saw/heard my uncontrollable crying, this post should help put it all into context.

5.15.2002 The big news of today: 1) My penis is pristine. (No STD's found on me!) 2) I got a flat tire on my way home. (But I was super macho and fixed it, shirtless, on the side of the road.) But if you want to know why I was at the airport this morning, tune in to my radio show at 5:30.

5.14.2002 It's Star Wars time!!! How about a brand new video Tale:

Does liking the Moulin Rouge soundtrack make me gay? How about the "Naked Firemen" calendar on the wall?

A friend pointed out that my reply to Yahoo could have been summed up with the www.cockybastard.com/loves/criticism/ I put up years ago.

5.13.2002 Saturday night we had a men's group. Seven friends hung out and talked from the soul. It was wondeful. Hearing my peer's challenges, I felt less alone. The details were different, but the patterns were the same. Relationships, Work, Satisfaction, Faith, Health. I wonder if I could sit down with any 7 men (of the same ages) and feel the same connection?

5.12.2002 HAPPY MOTHER's DAY! Mother's are the love-bonds to the world. They are the miracle makers. They shower affection and endure heartache. Thank you to all the mothers.

5.11.2002 Went to the PB Street fair today. Lots of boobies and guys with tattoos. I was the only one in sparkly shoes. I met Ron Jeremy for the 5th time. This time, it was pleasant.

Is there a site that facilitates the trading of pornography? There should be! I have TONS that I'd love to exchange for fresh flesh. Or maybe I should try to ebay it.

In a last minute fit of energy, I decided to go out dancing with my roomie, Des. We had friends hosting a launch party for Instinctz.com. Incredible airbrunch animal body painting on sexy dancers. Purrrrrr.

5.10.2002 Shit. My brother's post today had me laughing so hard, I'll just repost the entire thing: I'm amazed at what laws must be in place that insist that prescription medicine ads explain the possible side-effects of their medicine while other products can keep us behind a veil of snazzy music and pretty pictures. I'm sure you've heard the soft, low voice that says, "Claritin is not for everyone. Possible side effects include nausea, dwarfism, sluggishness and searing genital pains. Pregnant women should not take Claritin as they may birth a superhuman race that could take over our planet. Ask your doctor if Claritin is right for you." I'd love it if all products had to be so honest. "Continued use of Miller High Life may cause unattractive people to be more sexually appealing. Late night cravings for burrittos and gravy were seen in some test subjects as well as nausea, regret and apathy. Karoake singing and philosophical discussions should not be attempted while using Miller High Life." Let the people know!

A monster every day.

I went dancing last night after skipping many weeks. I think the chiropractic adjustment I got last week really helped. My neck felt great. I was a bouncing, dancing, sweaty fool (normally I'm just a sweaty fool.)

Grrrr. Don't drink Miller beer. They shot down The Miller Family's website. A guy named Nissan is getting sued, too. Sheesh.

5.9.2002 Shit! Brazil's Orgasm Day kinda snuck up on me! (It's today!) In related news, the Masturbate-a-thon weekend is May 17-19. I'll particpate if anyone wants to sponsor me.

Before I send my letter to Yahoo's editors. wanna gimme feedback?

5.8.2002 My day as a grown-up: -bank -prescriptions -oil change -hiv/std test -hepititis B vaccine Is there time to get a slurpee before my radio show!? Life is full of tough decisions.

Ariel's cool article on Globalgasm is up at scarletletters.com

5.6.2002 My friend Bdogg gave me a small cactus last year. This morning, I walked outside to the most amazing bloom.

Another new wrds: “Hey, want to go to sex party at a mansion?”

Posted a new "wrds" after having lunch with MissM.

5.4.2002 I saw Dogtown & ZBoys yesterday, a documentary about early skateboarding culture of rebellion. It was AWESOME. I highly recommend it. (Skateboarding passion NOT required.)

5.3.2002 details from my week: Wed: Organize a Global Orgy Thurs: Do interview with MTV Fri: Loose all my domains. Fight to get them back. Same ol', Same ol'. I wonder if people know how exhausting being "unemployed" is?

if you can read this, my sites are back up!!! PLEASE STOP EMAILING DREAMHOST. They were put in a tough position and responded as best they could. It was a bad situation for me AND them. Once I understood what the issue was, I was able to clarify it easily. Unfortunately, it took lots of stress and a few thousand emails to figure out what the issue was.

5.2.2002 I'm trying to figure out how I should dress for the "1 year later" MTV interview. Full drag? A suit and tie? Naked with URLs written all over my flesh?

At SXSW, Justin wowed me with his super hi-tech Japaneze cell phone. It has a built in digital camera and is smaller than my current PCS phone. Here's a gallery of pics taken with a phone.

The Masturbators Hall of Fame highlights some interesting sex-positive people. And check out the rest of the Masturbation Month activities!

MTV will be in the house tomorrow afternoon for a follow-up interview. It has been over a year since they filmed us first. Innitially I told them I didn't want to do another interview...I was worried about how they'd make me look. But I gave in. Wish me luck.

Happy Globalgasm! Wow....I think we may have knocked the Earth back on its axis. Globalgasm is like the Earth's monthly visit to the chiropractor. A "planetary alignment."

5.1.2002 It's May First!!! www.globalgasm.com (times are Pacific) 5pm: Pre-gasm Feel The Love Show. 7pm: Pre-gasm cocktail hour 8pm: GLOBALGASM Gathering!!! Tell your friends! Tell that girl/guy you have a crush on! Email your contact list! Email me with questions

I posted a story about a bathroom floor in wrds.

I have been thinking VERY seriously about cutting my hair. I almost never wear it down. Occasionally in nubs or other style, but usualy up in some ratty bun. Should I try dreadlocks first? Or buzz it and give the locks to a cancer charity? Or offer myself up for a makeover show?

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