5.31.2001 Zeldman.com turns 6. Why not buy Jeffrey's Book?

Yesterday's Radio Show is now live.

from today's New York Times, Mr. Styn, whose gifts to the fictitious Kaycee had included a care package filled with hats to cover her head during periods of baldness, said that he refused to become cynical in the incident's unsettling wake. "One lesson you can learn from this is to trust less, but I'm choosing not to pick that one," Mr. Styn said. "The fact that she wasn't really there doesn't mean that thousands of people weren't able to trust and give love to a stranger. The fact that the Internet is a medium where people can feel those things is encouraging."

5.30.2001 Okay, silliness may resume. Radio show today at 5. Hug at 6. Globalgasm this friday.

5.29.2001 I think it is time to stop all this silly nonsense. I *am* 30, ya know.

I've been doing web reviews for a local radio station but I'm thinking of stepping down (it isn't a paying gig). Part of me keeps hearing my dad's voice saying , "Keep your options open!"

5.28.2001 The new episode of RealHouseTV is live. Special Halcyon's 30th Birthday Edition with a nipple piercing and a nude beach trip. Plus my birthday surprise and a monologue on the state of my brain after 3 decades.

Okay, okay....If you can't handle the original 15 meg movie, you can get a feel of it (and see a portion of the photos) with this 200K version w/ photo galleries. While going through old baby photos, I found pics of me nude gardening, chilling on a faux fur rug, and gazing at myself in the mirror. Heh. Nature or nurture?

AWESOME digital birthday art from Jan and MindBlur. I'm touched beyond...well, certainly beyond any emoticon. :))

I made a Birthday Flash Movie, but it came out to 14 megs. (lots of images) You can view it the monster, if you're brave. Or If you have a fast connection and a PC, you can download a zipped .EXE Flash movie.

wellll. I was surprised. MissM organized a surprise party ? Murder mystery for my 30th. I was totally caught off guard. Then we had a bit of a slumber party back at the realhouse. Oh, I'm so full of birthday joy!

5.27.2001 Tonight at midnight I turn 30 years old. As a sort of return-to-the-womb thang, we're gonna have a slumber party and turn some of TheRealHouse cams to black for a few hours: A brief return to birth canal darkness. We'll keep the audio on.

5.26.2001 Did I mention my birthday is on Monday? I'm planning on hitting the local nude beach so I can wear my birthday suit.)

My brother left for Australia this morning. Said farewell to some other friends who are leaving for a year-long trip around the world. Me? I'm happy right nere for now. But it is nice to know there are ambassadors of love around the world.

5.25.2001 Just in time for my 30th birthday...Halcyon Beefcake-a-go-go!

If you still have patience fot the Kaycee mess. Randy has posted his side of the story

breathe

5.24.2001 Are you an email tech wizard? About 10% of my mail gets returned because my mail server (therealhouse.com) is listed as a spammer. Anyone know what I should do? Can I use another mail server? I'm a bear of very little brain. UPDATE: I think I have it fixed!!!

5.23.2001 I felt really good about tonight's radio show. It felt like we were making lemonade out of a crapload of digital lemons. listen to the archive

I pierced my left nipple on Sunday. I was going to do it for my 30th bday. But certain recent episodes made me want to do it sooner. Here is a picture. Next week's RealHouseTV will show the piercing and explain more about what it means to me.

Radio at 5. Hug at 6. And just as I become addicted to metafilter.com, it looses it's net connection. Good luck to Matt in getting it back online.

In 1998, a friend's girlfriend was diagnosed with cancer. He made a website for her and I linked to it many times. It is a good thing. Caring for people is a good thing. Giving compassion without fact-checking is a good thing. So Kaycee was the second young cancer victim I tried to spread the love to. I doubt she'll be the last.

5.22.2001 There is a new article up on About.com about Kaycee. The third page is an interview with me.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been so supportive about the Kaycee stuff. I wish I could say I'm over it. Reminder that we'll be doing a radio show about it tomorrow if you want to share. Plus I plan on sending something out to my mailing list about it, too.

Some amazing photos from the beach. Here's one of M and I. Yes, those are white leather chaps. An early birthday present from my bro.

speaking of birthdays...today is KAYA's BIRTHDAY! here's an older musical ecard I made for him.

I posted a birthday poem with a pic from yesterday.

Yesterday, I went to a nude beach with my love and some friends on her birthday. We took bags of clothes and props and took some wonderful photos. The sea, the cliffs, naked skin...it was perfect. I needed to unplug for a few hours.

If you're still confused (as I am) there is a Kaycee FAQ. And another good one. It's weird...I'm still feeling spiritually wounded. Floaty. Raw. But this death, too, will take time to heal.

5.21.2001 New episode of RealHouseTV

I went to the Cockybastard message boards and was confronted with a lot of anger between some posters. I may regret doing so, but I deleted the posts that I felt contained poison. I have them saved. so if you want to read them, thet me know.

Today is my MissM's birthday!!! I gave my love a domain name: www.PlayaPhoenix.com.

5.20.2001 Update #2: It appears that Kaycee is not real. Here are my thoughts. We'll address this again on the Wed Radio Show. So call in if you need to talk.

Update: I'm feeling better. Celebrated my brother's birthday last night. Hugged lots of friends. The party theme was "Bring something that starts with the first letter of your last name." I brought a Sunflower Seedling. The Fishers brought French Fries. Mikey Vyce brought a Viagra pill.

5.19.2001 I'm having an emotional/spiritual crisis right now. You are welcome to visit my darkness. I could use a hug.

5.18.2001 His most recent writings make me jealous of Zeldman's Lovelife .

We have 6 cars at our house, but we're not allowed to park on the street (permit only). So, if someone (or 2 or 3) parks behind you in the driveway, you ALL have to move your cars if people want to leave. Today, while shuffeling cars around like one of those little plastic sqares games, I parked on the street for 5 minutes. I got a ticket. It was the second ticket this week. The kicker is we are entitled to permits. But our application has been rejected 3 times because of errors on the form. *sigh* I wrote this after the first ticket.

A cool picture of me from the GET-M event I went to on mother's day is here

5.17.2001 oh, this looks good: www.independentsday.org

5.16.2001 Chaz reminded me about Kaycee's old Homepage. Yikes! I'm glad she focussed on writing over design. But you can definitely see her heart underneath all the animated gifs. *big smile*

I posted my final email to Kaycee Jacob mentioned Kaycee in his final meditation prayer tonight. I am in a good space. Feeling the warm glow of fond memories.

Tonight's radio show was a Kaycee tribute. I only cried once. Now I feel great. I feel like she just *pounced* on me. So I will remove the black background from this page, cause I'm ready to start focussing on her light.

I've become a fan of AudioGalaxy as my Napster replacement. But read the terms, they install an extra program on your system to supliment the free service.

Posted a quick "wrds" about Kaycee.

Radio show today at 5. Subject: Kaycee, death & transition, spirituality. I do NOT plan on making this a downer show. Please call in with thoughts about Kaycee, philosophies about death or whatever is on your mind.

You on mac OSX and want a styn.net icon?

Happy Birthday, Derek! Your heart equals your talent. For Derek's Bday, why not vote for him in the Webby's People's choice awards. (He is nominated in the Personal catagory of which I am the current holder of the crown.)

My brother saw this photo and said, "It's like the movie twins. You look exactly like Danny DeVito"

5.15.2001 Kaycee has passed. May we all aspire to add love to the world as she did. she sent this to my brother a week ago: I read ppl's entries or hear strangers talk about there being nothing after you die. I don't believe that's true and I sure hope their wrong... what would be the point of it all if that was the case. My life's been really good. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out...wish there was more but we don't get to direct that part of it. I just wanted you to know... I love you and I hope life gives you everything you're hoping for. You've got a great start. I know you've walked with happiness but if you need a little nudge...just check the stars...I'll be winking at you. sending you love and sunshine kaycee ;-)

5.14.2001 Some new photos up from Earth day, my garden, and more. My favorite pics are from my mom's house. I painted a rock to say, "The Ma-Ma Patch" years ago and it's still there, announcing my love for my mom to all the birds and bees.

Tonight, check out the latest RealHouseTV episode at 8pm in the RHTV Lounge. (Pacific time) ClubCX members can watch a full stream version of RHTV. (All others see a semi-streaming version.) Both versions have streaming audio.

I added a link on the bottom of Wrds to my writings from 98-99. Some forgotten gems in there.

5.13.2001 Happy Mother's Day! I wrote my Mom something.

5.12.2001 Douglas Adams died. I remember reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy long ago and loving his wit. It must have been 15 years since I read it, but I still remember how to fly: "Simply throw yourself at the ground...and miss." He is one of the great comedic writers. Rest in Peace.

5.11.2001 I love Diaryland.com, so I upgraded to their gold service. One of the benefits was 10,000 banner ads for my diaryland page. Pretty cool. My ad is here. Oh, if you upgrade *your* diaryland page, say cockywrds referred ya. (I get more banners! Mwhahahaha!!!)

Anyone have a few spare IP addresses and a DNS server lying around? I have a 4 or 5 domain names that I's like to put placeholder pages up for. For example, my registarar is supposed to be redirecting lustmonkey.com to here. But I get DNS erros when I try hitting lustmonkey.com.

I changed Jacob's diaryland template, again. I thought the purple was a bit too dark. In case you're keeping score at home, Jacob is the guy who gives lectures on the Course in Miracles that I attend almost every Wednesday. His weekly love-centric, postivity-promoting talks have been invaluable reminders for me the last few months. I consider him a fellow warrior for world inspiration. Recently, I've taken both my grandparents to lectures and have a date to take my mom next week. I'm trying to get one of his talks uploaded to MP3.com, so I'll keep ya posted.

5.10.2001 Yesterday's radio show is archived. Heavy on the porn content. Next week will be more of a spiritual bent.

5.9.2001 HugNation is tonight at 6. My radio show is before at 5. See you in the HugNation Lounge Radio Topic: Call in with your favorite porn stars or movies.

Just updated my friend Barbarella's Diaryland templates. And having lunch with her today, too!

Radio show tonight @ 5, HugNation @ 6!! Both in the Feel The Love Lounge.

5.8.2001 CitizenX turned 1 year old this weekend. And we should sign up our 100,000th member in the next hour. Wow.

I posted a new wrds about a gift I got on my 16th birthday.

Yesterday I was in Mexico at 1pm recording RealHouseTV and on Canadian TV at 6. David Hasselhoff can have Germany...I'm a North America enthusiast.

5.7.2001 I'm heading to Mexico for Lunch. Kinda a Siete De Mayo thang. Hopefully I'll have video footage ready for tonight's RealHouseTV Episode 5 airing at 8pm. (So if you want to see the naked poi twirling show, catch it before 8 tonight!) If you'd like a guest pass to watch the full streaming version, send me your CitizenX name.

Send your scanned High School Photo to tremble. In Todd We Trust.

What is the statute of limitations in the war on drugs? Amidst the 4000 year old architectural ruins of a recent excavation, they found, "...a bone pipe, possibly for drug use, carved into a little stylized human figure. Near the pipe, [the archaeologist] found remains of the herb ephedra as well as poppy."

5.6.2001 Posted a new Tale. Not much, really. Just a list of good porns. If you have any porn recommendations, call in to the radio show this Wednesday! Maybe we should even have a porn club...like a book club...except less literary.

A few new Wrds are up. One is about this picture:

5.5.2001 Rabbits can be cool.

5.4.2001 Ever find something you did long ago and wonder..what the hell was that for!? Heck, while I'm going through the attic, check out: this , this, this, this, this, this,or this.

I'm being sent a video to review. If you have any porn-related products you'd like me to review, let me know!

5.3.2001 Whipped up a quick Diaryland template for my roomate Flare

Posted a letter from my Grandpa to his Diaryland page.

I got an email from Mistress Jacqueline DuMonde (who was the focus of the most recent Tale.) A portion of my reply is posted in "wrds."

5.2.2001 Good Vibrations - National Masturbation Month - Masturbate-A-Thon

Tonight, after the radio show, the first ever HugNation global hug!!! PLEASE PARTICIPATE!! Radio show at 5. Hug at 6. Both in the brand new Feel The Love Lounge

As I was preparing my microwave pasta bowl, I wondered if I was man enough to eat something called "Pasta Fagioli." Perhaps I should just sit down and have some chablis.

Radio show today at 5pm. Topics: globalgasm, STDs, and making home porn. Come by at 5 and help me try out the new FeelTheLove Lounge! If all goes well, it's where we'll do HugNation hugs, too.

Another wacky link sent in by Danielle

Globalgasm last night was stimulating There were 30 or so participants in the Lounge and who knows how many participating privately. HUGE thanks to all who came for the planet last night.

I was interviewed by a Chicago Tribune reporter about "Fame in 2001." I posted one of my replies in wrds.

5.1.2001 6 new photo galleries up at TheRealHouse. Including me playing with fire. (Thanks, Kelly!)

Garden update: There are doves outside my window. A vibrant red amaryllis bloom in a ceramic blue pot. We named the tomato plants this weekend: Cherry Bomb, Blondie, The Thumb, and Momma. This is all covered in depth in the new episode of RealHouseTV. Of course, you'll probably be more interested in the naked Poi spinning. Personally, I prefer naked Flare.

It is May Day *and* Globalgasm. I think MissM and I may try to celebrate Globalgasm/May Day by having sex outside. (Under the cameras, of course.) MTV is planning on grabbing screen shots from New York.

The HugNation logo contest entries are posted. Very cool! Winner will be chosen next week.

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