4.30.2001 Added a new Wrds about turning thirty.

Tomorrow is May 1st! That means: 1) It's the deadline for the HugNation Logo Contest. 2) It's time for a nother Globalgasm. Make sure you come at 8pm! 3) It's the beginning of my Birthday Month! (May 28th. Kaya is May 22nd. MissM is May 21)

4.29.2001 Lying in MissM's lap on the Coachella lawn while Janes Addiction played "Classic Girl" was a peak moment. Spending the night sleeping in the car was significantly less thrilling.

4.28.2001 I'm headed to the Coachella music festival today. Forecast: 97 degrees, slightly cloudy, with chances of Janes Addiction in the evening.

4.27.2001 Oh, this is sweet. A Real vs. Fake Breast quiz by Playboy.com. (Thanks, Kaya)

Kaya's post today cracks me up.

4.26.2001 Wednesday's Radio show about Bondage is online. Not for the kiddies.

Posted a new wrds entry on parenting.

This year's Webby nominees have been posted. I submitted cockybastard in the personal category (Hey, I'm cocky, remember) and citizenX in the community category. Neither was nominated. Luckily, Fray.com was nominated in BOTH categories. So that eases the pain a bit. Good luck, Derek! btw, there is an awesome new story up on {fray}

4.25.2001 radio show @ 5. Theme: Bondage

My brother pointed me to these Prostitution Arrest Photos and asked, "Wanna get a hooker in St. Paul?" (make sure you scroll to the bottom.)

Oh, man...schoolgirls eating weiner dogs. But you bring the erotic subtext yourself. (thanks, Danielle)

Radio show today at 5. And I finally got this page's archives working. The earliest posts are from '99.

4.24.2001 If you follow Kaycee, you should read her latest.

72 hours later and my ass is still bruised.

I recently saw Captain Roger again. He leads scientific expeditions to the Antarctic and I published some of his letters from the edge back in 98. Roger told me a story: A South African scientist met up with his expedition in Chile a few months ago. Upon boarding the ship, The new recruit dropped a bag of marshmallow-filled cereal in front of Captain Roger. He said nothing. Apparently the purpose of this cereal was obvious. It turns out that the South African had researched Captain Roger on the internet. He found the OLD tattle Tales stories I posted from Roger’s emails 3 years ago. One of the posted stories (#5 “Got Milk”) was a meditation on breakfast cereal. Wacky, huh!? Weird, wired world.

Fray.com was nominated for a Webby in the best community category! The rest of the catagories will be posted Thursday.

4.23.2001 New RealHouseTV episode tonight at 8pm (PST) in the RHTV Lounge. If you still want to see the STUDS clips or any of Episode 3, make sure you watch this afternoon. Episode 4 contains my Fray Day story about piercing my nipple, Hot chicks spinning fire, and more. See you tonight at 8!

I posted a new Tale about my experience with a dominatrix. Not for youngins.

At Earth Day, we were looking at a Hot Dog Vendor and wondering how in the world the meat tube atrocity was appropriate for Earth Day. Perhaps the dogs were made from "Free-Range" lips and assholes?

4.22.2001 Happy Earth Day!! Reduce, re-use, recycle. (Except condoms) Here's pics from Earth Day 1999

4.21.2001 "I want to keep constantly engaged in thought and action as long as I have breath. These are great and wondrous days Many of your values and things you choose to live for are in flux, from my limited understanding. If you can feel as excited as I do at 89 about the gift of living and relating to values you are accepting and believing in; you will rejoice as I do today." -Grandpa Caleb

4.20.2001 Just had "america's funniest home videos" moment. Kelly was kayaking in th pool and slowly fell in while I happened to be video taping. The neighbor knocked on our door to complain that our laughing had woken him.

4.19.2001 Just talked to the MTV people. The show air date has been pushed back. Bleh. I'll post more when I know more.

I've added a number of new blasphemous wrds entries.

I was trying to find the correct AC adapter for my scanner. After I heard a "pop" and the smell of burning wires filled the room, I realized that i had the wrong one. Who needs a scanner, anyway?

Ready for some Crouching Stick Figure, Hidden Line-Art kung-fu action? (thanks, Air)

4.18.2001 In dealing with a trouble-makers on CitizenX, I decided to re-read the terms of Citizenship that people must agree to when joining. I was pretty funny! Here’s an excerpt: 3) Play nice or go home. If you're being a jerk, we have the right to de-activate your account and put gum in your hair. 4) Use at your own risk. In this lawsuit-happy day and age, we should probably add something here about liability. Basically, we're not responsible. Got it? If you see someone on their cam, you fall in love, then they turn out to be a deadbeat…it's not our fault. If some guy in a chat room convinces you to send him a lock of hair and then he puts a voo-doo spell on you…it's not our fault. If you tell your Lover in Romania to meet you in your chat room, then we have a server dump during your encounter…your blue balls are not our fault. If you see your image on the screen, become frightened, and forget to bath for several weeks…it's not our fault. Okay. I'll stop now. Just have fun, be nice, and use your head. Simple.

Radio show is today ay 5pm. Talking abvout Parties, RealHouseTV, Easter Beer Hunt, Dancing, Gardening, Being Happy, whatever.

The computer virus seems to be fixed. My genital rash, however, still rages out of control.

4.17.2001 Shit. My computer is infected with the W32.Badtrans.13312@mm virus. Trying to clean it now. C'mon Norton! Let that virus have it...Right in the kisser!

Posted a new wrds about my personal TV channel. Only a few people showed up for the premiere of RealHouseTV:3 last night. I guess it's hard to compete with "The Weakest Link." I think I tired of insulting hosts with Morton Downey Jr.

The creator of Aikido said: "Budo (the Martial Way) is not felling the opponent by our force; nor is it a tool to lead the world into destruction with arms. True Budo is to accept the spirit of the universe, keep the peace of the world, correctly produce, protect, and cultivate all things in nature." I often try to take the Aikido philosophy and apply it to non-physical conflicts. Can this conflict be solved by steering the negative energy to flow past? Rather than provide a wall for it to smack against?

4.16.2001 After 3 trips to Radio Shack and hours tearing apart my house in search of missing 8mm tapes, I am finally able to make a copy of some conference footage for the MTV people. It also means I'll have a new episode of RealHouseTV up soon. The new plan is to do a 30 min episode every week. Each new episode will premier on Monday night at 8 pm PST. That means that the premier of RealHouseTV episode 3 is tonight. including footage of my monologue from the SXSW awards show My presentation at the University of New Mexico and a clip from my infamous STUDS episode.

New Tale of the Week: "Moon Ritual at Denny's"

4.15.2001 Happy Easter/Peeps Liberation Day! I wrote up a bit about the Easter Beer Hunt

4.13.2001 I wrote something about dancing and sex and posted it in wrds.

4.12.2001 Easter goodies: Photos from 1999's Easter Beer Hunt. Spring goodies (including a flash Easter Bonnet fashion show and a porn Easter ecard) The Easter Egg Theory Tale

Happy Birthday, Glassdog!

MissM posted this in the discussion boards: my love my prince my shining sun in awe of what our life's become in awe the sun can shine so bright to bring to life such sweet delight amazed that life can still hold on with loving hearts that beat so strong you ask if your wrds do strike a chord my love they shatter the very world My heart goes pitter-patter (let me know if my sharing starts to get too mushy.)

Someone asked me this weekend what I do to relax…what I do for *me*. I thought for a while…I enjoy making things on the computer…but that is part of my semi-unhealthy drive to be productive all the time. For me? Hmmm. I had to think. Best answer I could think of was cuddling with my girlfriend. Nothing makes me feel as good as holding her.

I look out my window onto my garden. Tomato plants are just taking root. You’re supposed to pinch off the “suckers” that grow in the “joints” where existing branches meet the stalk. This channels the plant’s energy into existing branches and promotes sturdy growth and fruit. A pleasant side-effect is the rich smell of tomato plant foliage on your fingers. I love it. It smells like sunshine to me. But the best is yet to come. The greatest joy in the world of gardening is eating a tomato right off the vine. There’s something magical about a plump fruit, fresh off the vine…when it’s still warm…still holding the power of a sunbeam inside it. (I posted this, along with several other new pieces in wrds.)

I don't buy candy because, late I night, I have no willpower. For the same reason, I shouldn;t have cable TV. But we got it at TheRealHouse so we could watch the MTV documentary in June. Last night I watched South Park, The Daily Show, That's My Bush, an old cartoon, a gaggle of music videos, the AC/DC Behind the Music Special, and a Whitman's Sampler of abdominal exersize infomercials. I am doomed.

4.11.2001 A good pair of tweezers is priceless. I had a good pair…but lost it. (Note: if you have a good pair, don’t go bragging to the world about it, or you may “lose” yours, too.) There’s nothing worse than a crappy pair of tweezers.

4.10.2001 Violent destruction beats Masturbation, so says Indiana Christians

I've been thinking about a kid-friendly variation on the Globalgasm concept. Once a week, at a set time, the entire world takes 60 seconds and gives themselves (or anyone next to them) a hug. If we could all do it in front of our webcams, it would be like the biggest group hug ever. Stay tuned for HugNation.com. How about a contest? A HugNation Logo contest. Winner can pick a prize: An internal Zip Drive (used) An external Zip Drive (used) An unopened copy of Adobe LiveMotion An alphanumeric pager. A lithograph poster from the SXSW web awards Whaddaya think?! No purchase required. Submitting an entry grants me permission to use it on the (yet-to-be-designed) site. Legal mumbo jumbo to follow. Deadline...May 1st.

Tomorrow's Radio Show (5pm) theme is PARTIES. Sick of Pimps and Ho's? Call in with the best party themes and games you've seen.

Posted new wrds about a tree.

4.9.2001 Jan's 2001 Valentine quote struck me especially hard today when I re-read it.

4.8.2001 New Tale is about Saturday Night's Party:

Last night we had a fun little "Rock Star" theme party for my roomate Flare's Bday. I had to kick someone out who crashed the party. Yuck. Unpleasant, but necessary. I'll post more about it later.

4.7.2001 "When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that's my religion." -Abe Lincoln

It is raining in San Diego. And there is unrest in the CitizenX community. I booted someone for posting rude messages and hurting someone's feelings. Now both sides are hurt and people feel the site is unfair or unsafe. I wish I had a $jillion bucks to make the best community ever. Jan reminded me what I emailed to here over a year ago when we were developing CX: "What if we could build a community that promoted loving yourself and others. But did in a way that was still *cool*? A place that accepted everyone who was willing to project positivity and diminish negativity. Wouldn't that be worth trying?" I want to put that quote on the front page of CitizenX. I want to post it in my room and read it every day.

4.6.2001 Added a link to RobinJean.net in my frequent reads. Her designs are almost as sexy as her person.

4.5.2001 Ever done something, then, seconds later, recognized the idiocy of your actions? Today, I dyed my hair blue. Miss M had hers dyed at a salon. I decided to buy a $12 bottle of blue dye, some rubber gloves, and do it myself. I wondered, "Should I rinse the dye from my head by leaning my head back in the shower, or bending forward?" When I looked into my hands, and saw the DEEP blue hue they had become, I knew I fucked up. My smudged shaving mirror confirmed it: My face was dyed blue. I immediately started singing The Smurfs theme song. "Damn you, Gargamel!!!"

Hmmm. I think the company that was hosting lustmonkey.com has gone out of business. Now the page is dead. Anyone know what I should do? email me

4.4.2001 Well, Lookie there! I'm quoted in an article about SXSW Interactive

Radio Show today! (5 pm in my Spot.)

4.3.2001 A whimsical Burning Man Penis over at Supersnail.com. (Yes, I've been browsing BM sites and getting inspired.)

Almost two years ago, my pals at Nightcharm ( a cool, sex-positive, gay ezine) interviewed me and reviewed me. (More than that and I insisted that they buy me dinner and a movie.) Makes a good read if you think this whole "sexual focus" of mine is new. Also... a rooomate was looking through a paper zine I made in '95 and said, "John, everything in here is about sex."

4.2.2001 FINALLY! New TALE: Halcyon & The Porn Factory

We said goodbye to the MTV crew last night. I was relieved and sad. It was a really cool experience, but also very taxing. The show will air June 5 @10pm. Until then, I feel like we're in a long distance relationship, wondering about how my lover feels about me. Do they respect me in the morning? Will they talk bad behind my back? Little insecurities creep along the perimeter of my psyche.

Thank you everyone who participated in Globalgasm. My climax was so intense I cried.

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