10.31.2000 I can't stop laughing at my brother's Boy Band Costume. He's "the other E.J." (click on Halloween2000)

I think I'm getting better at applying makeup. Here's a pic from Saturday night.

Bummer. After my failure doing the 91X.com web surf report last week, I was all pumped up to do it today. But I guess there wasn't time. I don't blame 'em for losing confidence in me.

Last year, I dressed as a porn star for Halloween and even carried around a copy of my latest video.

Happy Halloween! For a Snow White costume that's sure to wake your sleeping dwarf, check out Trashy.com

10.30.2000 damnit. My mail seems to be down. Grrrrr.

this week's Tale is all about living on cam:

Super Greg is my new favorite DJ. All fans of DJ culture *must* watch the 30 second quicktime video.

10.29.2000 TheRealHouse has been occupying most my non-social energy lately. So tomorrow's tale is gonna be the new House manifesto. But it's at the House and I'm not right now. So I'll post it sometime Monday. Forgive me?

Last night I went to a couple costume parties. Man-o-man...I sure like to dress up. And I love it even more when there is a whole party full of people in costume. You can't be a wallflower when you have fairy wings strapped to your back.

10.28.2000 My first party at TheRealHouse was filled with lessons. But when the dust settled, it was epic. Naked painted people dancing. Flogging demonstrations. Live sex in the living room. I was too tired to get up when I heard the term "Strap-on" being discussed from the other room. Wow. So much amazing stuff, I'm not sure what to archive. I hope everyone who joined us virtually had fun, too. More later...if I recover.

10.26.2000 In addition to a boob-job fix, Porn Star Houston had a labiaplasty. "The labiaplasty saw a centimeter of pussy trimmed off the inner labia and fat that was liposucked elsewhere out of Houston's bod injected into her outer labia." She is auctioning off one of her old implants and "a pile of her labia trimmings" on www.Eroticbid.com. Full story on Deja Vu

EOD should be read ED (Every Day).

Wacky morning. Had a little rain here. And now it's sunny. Describes my morning moods pretty well, I think. Wait...maybe my moods actualy *control* the weather?! If I stay jacked up on Exstasy all winter, will the sun stay out and the ocean water stay warm!? Should I go to sad movies to alleviate a drought? Being in control of the weather is a lot of pressure.

I'm embarassed. After being ready to go for two weeks, I finally got another chance to do my "other" surf report on 91x radio. I called in and fucked up. I messed up a few more times, got nervous, and then decided to forget it today. It wasn't live, so nobody heard it. And Chris the DJ was very cool. But we decided to postpone the spot. I feel like I just lost a wrestling match. I wasn't good enough, so I failed. I'm not very good at failing. But I suppose getting comfortable failing is important for growth.

10.25.2000 Even though I'm not a live music person, Pearl Jam was fun. Id rather dance to a DJ. For live music, I'd rather sit and enjoy it. (I *am* almost 30.) I kept trying to get in Eddie Vedder's head. Is he enjoying this? Hard to say. He was talking about depression and people kept cheering. A few shots of Absolute before the show kept things interesting.

Shit. I am such an idiot. I forgot that Producer Jason is out of town this week. Today's radio show is a gonna be a repeat. Doh! More radio goodies on this week's Tale.

10.24.2000 I have tickets to Pearl Jam tomorrow night. I almost forgot!

Tomorrow's Radio Topic: Feng Shui and what's gonna be in your dream house. (btw, thanks for all the vibes regarding my "wood energy" post yesterday.)

Playboy + cockybastard =

This pic shows that old ravers never die, they live forever on the URB message boards. (thanks, Robin!)

Last night was a busy one at TheRealHouse. Some of my stress about making the place interesting was alleviated as Naked Monday commenced. Lots of craziness. One friend was dressed in a Tutu and had his head shaved by a naked woman. I got down to my boxers, but never showed the little soldier on cam. While this was going on, we had a consultant come in and Feng Shui the house. Turns out I painted my room the right color and put my waterfall in the perfect corner to enhance the "wood" energy of my room. Woo-Hoo!

10.23.2000 My mom used to have one of those Halloween sound effects tapes that she would play this time of year. I liked the creaking house and animal sounds. But the people screaming really disturbed me. I would think, "What would make someone scream like that? What terrible torture are they being subjected to?"

Politics that *mean* something: Vote Quimby

Tonight we're having Naked Monday over at the RealHouse. Changing the world...one naked party at a time. As Valerie says: "Not 'world domination'...World INSPIRATION."

10.22.2000 I've held this title for a year, thankyouverymuch.

This week's Tale is a few highlights from the radio show. Little morsels to give ya a taste. (And links to the archives, of course.)

For years I took two pills a day. I cut down to 1/4 pill a day and felt great for months. But recently I stopped taking my anxiety medicine entirely, and I'm not quite myself. My teeth are clenched. My hands are in fists. And everything frustrates me. If I haven't replied to an email or have otherwise let you down somehow, I apologize. My coping skills feel a little impaired.

10.21.2000 Sending love and comfort to Kaycee.

Okay, I uploaded a picture of our outfits to last night's party. (taken *before* I broke my camera)

Did I mention the amazing outfits at the fetish party? No? It could be that I was so bummed about breaking my camera that I forgot. Well, Olympus has been good to me in the past. Let's see if they can save me from my clumsyness again. Biggest regret: Not getting a photo with Dlove and Kip...both who were *also* wearing blue tu-tu's. (Mine was more of a petticoat, but still.)

I went to a fetish party last night. 3 "Dom" stations where people recieved floggings, clothespins, and electrical currents. I was too scared to do it, but everyone who got tied up *raved* about the experience. Hmmm. My whole life, I thought I hated spicy foods. I guess I just picked it up from my folks. I *never* ordered anything off a menu with an asterix next to it. Two years ago, a date shamed me into trying some of her spicy Thai curry...and I loved it. It was like a mouth spanking: a new and invigorating expereince for my mouth. Perhaps I'd like being flogged, too. I did get quite a spanking from a woman wearing just a corset...Hmmmm. To quote the good doctor Seuss: "From there to here, from here to there. Funny things are everywhere."

10.20.2000 Mental note: bring some sort of foam pad to TheRealHouse...sleeping on the floor makes for stiff mornings. (and not 'morning wood'-type stiffness.)

I actually showered and slept in the RealHouse last night. I doubt anyone was watching at 3am...but theoretically, my goodies were on the net for the first time ever.

I met one of the kick ass CitizenX.com Ambassadors tonight at Club Hedonism! Yes, Flare is sexy in person, too.

I come in at minute 5 of this LevelRed.com Launch Party Video. See me groovin' to DJ Jon Bishop & Kimbal Collins.

10.19.2000 My 91X radio review got bumped this morning. Next Tuesday, I guess.

So today is my first day in my new office. Yes, I have two night-vision eqipped cams pointed at me (plus my regular ol cam). But when you got o job, a free office is pretty sweet. Now I have no computer in my apartment for the time being. What was I thinking!?

10.18.2000 Radio show today at 5. Topic: Unknown. But I plan on doing the show it from TheRealHouse.

My mom's new Gateway is coming today. Now, I need to transfer some data from the old computer to the new. They both have network cards. Is it easy to connect them? Or should I upload the data to the net and then download it to th e new computer? Or something else? Times like this I miss working for a big company and being able to bug the network guys.

10.17.2000 So, if I don't have shame about being naked, should I still be wary about letting myself be on cam naked? Or should I walk the talk?

omigosh! This webcasting laptop was *made* for me! (thanks, Floyd!)

Anyone have a laptop recommendation? I've heard Sony or Dell is the way to go. Let me know if you love your laptop. Of course, if you work for a laptop distributer of some sort and would like to exchange some old inventory for some priceless plugging in a webby-award winning site, let me know that, too. Hey, it can't hurt to try.

Radio show was pre-empted by a CD release party for Richard "Dick" Cheese. I guess the review waits til Thurs.

10.16.2000 Only The Brunching Shuttlecocks could rate Rules For My Apartment Complex and have me laughing out loud. I'm gonna review brunching.com on the radio tomorrow.

10.15.2000 I painted my room in theRealHouse. I had to. The pea green and red made me feel like I was inside a pimento olive. That whole "alcoholic James and the Giant Peach" thing loses it's allure pretty quickly.

Yes, the male pregnency page is a hoax. (Thanks Dinah!)

Here's some porn star party pics. Dirk Diggler and rollergirl were there. I was Captain Vulva again. Yes, I wore the vibrating jock strap and Hugulets. Later I put on eye makup and lipstick. My friends didn't bat an eye. I love my friends.

10.14.2000 My complex is throwing a party tonight with the theme, "Porn Star." I can't wait to see the costumes.

The First Human Male Pregnancy isn't real, is it?

10.13.2000 I posted 2 new things in wrds. "fielder" was prompted by my feeling about TheRealHouse project. I'm gonna be moving my office over there today. I have such a hard time with the fact that we’re asking for money. Maybe I doubt my self worth. I guess I need to believe that I deserve to be paid for the work I do with citizenX. I'm getting pretty broke. I guess I need to believe that I deserve to be creating/writing/designing/entertaining for a living. Otherwise, I need to give up the dream, get a regular job, and do my art as an after-work hobby. Maybe I can set up a computer monitor in the park and show Flash animations for change. Or maybe, just maybe, I can do something that I'm proud of that also makes money.

Friday the 13th. Don't open the door for anyone is a hockey mask.

10.12.2000 Speaking of radio.... Make sure congress doesn't squash your right to set up a microradio station. Use this little form to tell your congressman. (thanks, Adam)

10.11.2000 Karin Taylor called into the radio show today. And the Sara Sandwich. Heck, who cares if anyone was listening, I'll be erect for weeks.

******* COCKYBASTARD RADIO ********* time: 5-6 pm, PST every Wed. (TODAY!) topic: “Would you live your life on webcam?” Listen (live stream) Watch would ya think less of me if a masturbated while on cam? Call in: 1-877-986-9200 (toll free) ***************************************** this may be the last time I broadcast from my apartment for a while. Next week should be from therealhouse.

*sigh* My mail has been down all morning. I'm getting pissed@home.com

10.10.2000 Greeting visitors from F*ckedCompany.com FYI, I have never posted to the boards there. Someone is having a little fun with me. Bravo, mr. imposter. Like a flea, you've managed to bother me. I don't mind people bashing me for who I am, but it annoys me when people pretend to be me and then invite negativity. If you choose to judge me, please do so based on my work or me the person, not on what someone pretending to be me has posted on the FC boards. And read this: cockybastard.com/loves/criticism

I just chatted for a while with kaycee, and now my room is a little bit brighter.

10.9.2000 I may be moving in to theRealHouse.com as it partners with CitizenX.com. That means sleeping/showering/EVERYTHING would be broadcast live. Should I do it? Could you?

Live in San Diego? Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna be doing the morning "*other* surf report" on 91X radio. I'll be recommending a new website every Tuesday and Thursday! Listen in at about 8:30!

I'm extremely proud to say that I'm being bashed on, not one, but TWO forums at fuckedcompany.com. Most the conversation seems to be about how "gay" I am. Do people really consider that a bad thing? One person defended my flamboyant nature by calling me the, "reincarnation of Liberace!" In any case, I'm flattered by the fuss.

10.8.2000 The Tale of the week is the LONG awaited Burning Man 2000 Tale.

My brother returned home from Homecoming with a burrito from our favorite college munchies place. What a cool guy. He also brough well-wishes from several University of Redlands alum. GO BULLDOGS! (My brother and I both went to Redlands. So did my Mom and Dad. As did my grandma and grandpa, 2 uncles and an aunt.) MMmm....Cuca's Bean, rice, and cheese burrito...

10.7.2000 Lance redesigned his blog. And added some more brilliant posts.

Tonight is a San Diego Burning Man decompression bonfire. Should I wear the pink fur pants? What about the vibrating jock? So many decisions.

10.6.2000 Working a few projects all day. Thanks Jeff for the code help.

10.5.2000 Better late than never...here's this week's Tale:

Playboy magazine description of Ron Jeremy, "...so heavy and hung that, even when he's not naked, he resembles the letter Q."

Yesterday's radio show on swinging, voting, and pig fucking is now online.

Hung out at TheRealHouse last night. It's a house wired with 22 cams (with night vision). I'm wondering if I could live there. (linked on left of CitizenX)

Lance spews some good stuff on Fame. Do I want fame? I do. My dream is to make a living by being me. By doing the artistic projects I choose without worrying about how the rent will be paid. The only ways I know how to do that are 1) getting a patron of the arts to support me or 2) be famous. The Beastie Boys are famous enough that they can do whatever they want: Make a punk record, create a zine, do a website, a video project, a fundraiser, whatever. There's always money available for their projects...whenever the impulse hits them. I'd like to be a digital Beastie Boy.

Cute pic of me and kaya eating deli sandwiches.

10.4.2000 On today's radio show, I think I'll talk about the CRAZY swing party I went to this weekend. Ever been to a swing party? Ever tried to be a swinger? wanted to be one? Are ya one? Listen and call in. (5pm Pacific time)

if you are a US citizen over 18, REGISTER TO VOTE this week. PLEASE If you read this site and think at all like I do, PLEASE register. Otherwise, people that DON'T think like us will be making decisions that affect our freedom. Confused about voting? I'll link to resources before the day of the polls.

After getting shafted by topica.com, I'm moving my email list to notifylist.com. It's a new project by Andrew, the master behind diaryland. If you tried to sign up last week and got an error email from topica, I apologize. The signup should work now.

10.3.2000 I sent my Olympus camera back to get repaired under warrenty. After 3 weeks, they sent me back a BRAND new camera...and a newer version! (The c-2020 lets me take 60 second movies...so LOOK OUT!)

I just made this T-shirt for my Grandpa. the back says, "My grandsons may dress funny, but they love me TONS."

10.2.2000 funny story from Sat night: I was walking through the club's parking lot with two huge "FUEL" cans I was carrying for the girls' fire twirling performance. A security guy comes up and with a look of panic and fear says, "wh...wh...what are you doing?!" His face looked like a guy who was being paid to check IDs at the door...and suddenly was thrown into a "Die Hard 4 - Terrorists Hit the Club" movie script. When I explained it was for the show, he sighed an audible "whew!" of relief.

I enjoyed Naze's tale of being a father to three. I want to be a father someday. I'm too selfish now. But I'm working on it.

10.1.2000 I have been having TOO much fun this weekend. I hope you'll forgive me if this week's Tale is late. In the meantime, you can check some pics from my Sat night with the fire-twirling Vibe Tribe.

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