8.27.2000 Time for me to hit the road. Time to go home. Black Rock City, here I come. I'm filled with nervous energy. "Do I have everything I need?" "Should I have done more?" How can I squeeze the absolute most I can (without hurting myself) in the next week?" I should probably just relax. Tomorrow by this time, I'll be naked. :) I'll be at Burning Man for the next week. If all goes well, I'll never return. But don't expect a new Tale for the next couple weeks. (If you sign up for the cockybastard gram, I'll make sure you're notified when there's something new to look at.) Much love, -Halcyon p.s. If you're heading to the Playa, Come say 'hi' to the Lustmonkeys of Xara at 2:00 Head.

I'm almost packed. Kaya and I are heading to the Black Rock desert tomorrow. Am I excited? The last time I masturbated, I fantasized about the Playa. I did give myself one last glue gun burn, just for good measure.

8.25.2000 Another picture of one of my Burning Man costumes (with penis staff).

Well, Krysti's vibrating ass is winning in votes. But only the pocket butt and Debbie have been delivered so far. Which means that Debbie is my date to Burning Man!!!

I got a delivery from Hustler today. The authentic reproduction of Debbie's vagina is actually much more attractive "in person."

Did you watch Survivor? Did Sue really say she would let Kelly die if given the chance to save her?! Wow. I wouldn't even let *you* die, Sue.

The lustmonkey truck leaves tonight for Burning Man. It's all I can think about.

8.24.2000 Green thumbs stem from warm hearts. Yet another reason to love Derek.

So this morning, while cleaning my room, I found 6 brand new T-shirts. Each one different. They were schwag from conferences and crud like that. I don't really wear t-shirts with logos, but I couldn't bare to throw them away. 12 hours later, I got a flat tire. The guy who AAA sent explained that he was having a bad day; his ol' lady sold all his clothes. He only had the stuff on his back. I wonder if the universe gave me a flat just so I could give this guy some clothes?

8.23.2000 I just dyed my pubes. Yup.

today's radio show topic: driving while stimulated. Are bj's on the road a BAD idea? also, Burning Man questions and stuff. last week's show. topic: genital grooming

8.22.2000 After TORCHING my finger while using a hot glue gun, my neighbor let me know that, "Martha Stewart recommends always having a bowl of water nearby." I shoulda listened to Martha.

8.21.2000 A friend sent me a bumper sticker, "VAGINAS Are Way Cool" Ya know, the term "bumper sticker" isn't nearly as erotic as it sounds.

The Tale of the Week is a follow up to Porn-O-Rama

A friend was commenting on *her* pre-Burning Man mess of boas, fur and crap. "My apartment looks like Snuffalufagus threw up in it."

I flea-bombed my apartment yesterday. I hope the residual chemicals turn me into some sort of super-powered mutant.

Kaya and I made fur shoes yesterday. We didn't actually construct the shoes. We left that to the crafty Indonesians. We just covered old shoes with some colored fur. They're *smashing*. My costumes are really starting to come together. I"m so excited. I just did inventory and realized I have 7 distinct outfits I could put together from the stuff I'm bringing. Mostly pink...with a little blue. A page said, "It's a barnum and bailey world, and boy are you dressed for it!"

8.19.2000 I played around with some potential Burning Man costumes. Keep in mind, the jock strap will be covered with fur. And instead of a cup, the little pocket holds a vibrating massager. I plan on offering people a wholesome hug or a dirty hug. If they choose dirty, I'll turn on the massager. ;)

My apartment is hot and extremely cluttered with Burning Man gear. I problem with fleas and ants. (I picked 8 fleas off my legs this evening) The heat wave continues and I'm sick of being sticky. My complexion is not dealing well with the constant sweating. The minute I step out of the shower, I feel dirty. This concludes todays whining session.

The most recent radio show on genital grooming is now online. Hear Sara bring up the "Purple-headed yogurt slinger" on several occasions.

So I have 2 weddings today (not mine). Why do people schedule events that require a tie to be outdoors in the middle of the Summer!? None of my ties look good with a pink face and sweaty pits.

Daily page: "I think men who have a pierced nipple are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

My mail has been sending "bounce" messages to people, but I AM getting the mail. Should be fixed now. Sorry!

8.18.2000 During a lazy day watching movies, Leesa said, "One of these days We'll look back on one of these days and think...'Dude.'"

So I've picked 6 fleas off my legs in the last 10 minutes while sitting at my desk. WTF!? I have no pets. How did this happen? What should I do? (now every sensation on my skin's surface feels like it's a BUG!)

8.17.2000 I decided that I'm gonna try to tint my hair "atomic pink" with semi-permanent color for Burning Man. My burning man prep is getting out of hand. There is so much fuzzy sparkly stuff in my house, it looks like backstage at a Vegas review.

8.16.2000 I decided *not* to apply for Fox's sexiest bachlor contest. They pick *one* person from california. Those are tough odds. Maybe next year I'll move to Wyoming or another less-populated state.

radio show today: sexual grooming

8.15.2000 As Burning Man approaches, I am perusing some of my memories of past years.

Did you rush to work today? Were you stuck in a traffic jam...cursing at the gridlock? Then read today's entry by 18-year-old cancer fighter, Kaycee.

KOZMO opened in san diego!!! Now I'll *never* leave the house.

Kindasorta.com shows how daytime TV would be in a perfect world.

Note: for an INTENSE experience, shave your nuts using menthol shaving cream. You thought Altoids were hardcore?! (Wednesday's radio show is about genital grooming.)

8.14.2000 Only Lance Arthur could make a shopping experience more entertaining than most content sites. (He also wrote this week's Tale)

Hey! CitizenX got reviewed by About.com: “Check out the online party at CitizenX….” (more)

I was talking to woman on CitizenX who is a devout jew but also a sex-positive vixen. When asked if oral sex was Kosher, she said, well, since you’re not actually “swallowing” the penis, it’s okay. ‘Cause you’re not supposed to mix meat and milk.

Check out ALL the Playboy Playmates since the 50's. Makes for a cool socialogical look at beauty standards.

8.13.2000 Tale of the Week is stolen from Lance Arthur's LanceLog2000:

2 new wrds up.

something is very wrong with my cockybastard email. If you need to get a hold of me, try halcyon1@collegeclub.com

Last night I skinny-dipped in the ocean and warmed myself by a campfire. Life is sweet.

the guy in the Verticle Horizen video wearing the fur suit is NOT me.

Sins'ations made a couple cool photo manipulations from pictures of Moi.

8.12.2000 It's hot. And I just sprayed ant spray indoors. Good thing I have a bonfire party at a nude beach to go to tonight.

8.11.2000 Yay! The talented organizers at the Burning Man organization posted this year's camp locations. The Lustmonkeys of Xara are at 2:00 Head . This is on the main street, in front of Bianca's Smut Shack. Beautiful, baby. We are on *display*. Side note: I'm thinking that maybe the "testing" of the first Porn-O-Rama product should happen on the playa. Perhaps as a performance...perhaps a participatory performance? Hmmmm. Side note 2: My apartment has entered Burning Man mode. I have neon pink *stuff* everywhere. I'm laying out costumes, pieces of fur, boas, hats, sparkly things, things that glow, things to share... I definitely have burn on the brain.

Seems as though the Hershey's legal team doesn't like this comic.

Wow. I forgot to post anything yesterday. I was so busy making neon foam penises for my Burning Man costume that must have forgot!

8.9.2000 My friend Kacee started a weblog. She's 18 and fighting cancer. I've learned volumes from her.

This week's radio show is up. A caller told about being on a porn set with Peter North. At one point I accused producer Jason, “You, too, are one of the cowards that are afraid of the rubber vagina...” That's good radio, baby!

LOL!! Pamela named her new cat, "Styn" and made the coolest darn web page I've ever seen for a cat. I love the color scheme!

Today’s radio show is gonna discuss, “What defines Cheating?” If your girlfriend sleeps with another girl, is that cheating? How about cybersex? If you’re a chronic masturbator, is using a penis pump “cheating” on your right hand? As always, the show is @5pm PST on IMG2.com. As always, I do the show naked while on cam. Studio Hotline: 1-877-986-9200 (toll-free in the US) Did you miss last week's show?

8.8.2000 It's best you hear it from me...The Wonderful World of Longmire launched.

CitizenX.com hit 20,000 members today!

I have until the 18th to apply. Hmmm.

It looks like shophustler.com may be sponsoring the porn-o-rama!!!! This means ALL pledges may be going to charity!! Never has masturbation felt so good!

In looking for Burning Man day-time attire, I'm deciding between this, this, or this.

My first HTML mentor died this morning. I hadn't spoken to him in a while. He had gray, scraggly long hair that he wore in a pony tail. He had a parrot that would sit on his shoulder and shit down his back. He was fat like a programmer is supposed to be. (Until the cancer hit him.) Together we built the first online store for Virgin Interactive and the back-end fullfillment for the Sony Station. In my early exploration of the internet, he was my co-pilot with the compass. Thank you, Steven Fisher, for the lessons and the vision. </life>

8.7.2000 8 people have contributed to the porn fund!

8.6.2000 In the name of Science, I present this week's Tale:

Brian sent me (non-nude) sample from the photo shoot we did. More soon.

I'm learning more and more how cool music making program, ACID is.

8.5.2000 I designed a simple CockyBastard T-shirt. Any other ideas for cockybastard or prehensile shirts? (note: this is at $cost)

Today is my parents 33rd aniversary. Congrats!

8.4.2000 excerpt from an email from my Grandpa: "Frankly, I never realized this chapter of living could be so stimulating and satisfying."

Halcyon meets Space Ghost (thanks, Jenn!!!)

8.3.2000 I made a little song for my Burning Man camp using ACID.

So now egroups (who I use to send out the CockyBastards newsletter) puts an ad at the TOP of the email. YUCK! Anyone have a better idea for how to set up a newsletter/list-serve?

Hilarious Burning Man Theme Camp Ideas for you to steal!

Funny BurningMan 99 rollover image of Kaya, Me and others from Supersnail.com. And a few more pics, too. The whole Supersnail site is amazing.

8.2.2000 Today's radio show theme: Bisexuality 5-5:30 PST (LISTEN TO ARCHIVE) The echo tech difficulties end after a few minutes. Next week's theme: "What defines Cheating?"

The LA Times mentioned me in an article about the Democratic Sex art opening I attended. Amidst all that wackiness, I'm amazed I was memorable.

8.1.2000 Some collegeclub members are putting a "Dotumentary" together. Kaya, myself and a bunch of my old co-workers are featured in their Quicktime preview.

Back from my all day photo shoot with Robin Jean and Nicci. (photographer: Brian Fry). After getting harrassed by an aggro' lifeguard, we found a secluded area to take nude photos. Nothing quite like being naked in the ocean. The abandoned house we found should make for some cool shots, too.

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