2.29.2000 I saw so much paradise in Thailand... It surprises me that they had to Bulldoze the Beach to make a movie.

victor pointed out an ommision in this week's Tale of the Week. The Egg references occur in the story of Jonah and the Whale, too. Whales are just big eggs with flippers, yes? i mean, come on! live inside the whale for a three days? right! we know what really happened, eh?

Ron Jeremy has been in 1547 movies. Wow. They should make a children's book about him. It's like a real life Ugly Duckling story. *lightbulb* If you missed the Tattle Tale, "Me and Ron Jeremy" from a couple years ago, well, you should read it now. (adults only)

Semi-Important Medical Info. (Thanks, Brad)

And the "It's not funny" e-mails continue to come in. I'll try to make next week's Tale better.

I got a Spam e-mail yeasterday with the subject: "America's FINEST ham or turkey to you or loved ones." Mmmmm...hamspam.

2.28.2000 Oh, and now you have to be logged in to CollegeClub to chat in my webcam. Let me know if that bugs ya. Heck, let me know *whatever* it is that bugs ya.

Yikes. Lots of negative comments about this week's Tale. Apparently it's just not that funny.

Here is an online icon generator if you're trying to make a bookmark icon (Like what happens now with Prehensile! See 2/27).

Yikes! I saw the first of the Easter candy in the supermarket… That means Its Peeps time!!!! It's that magical time of the year when marshmellow bunnies rule the day. It's also a time to gather the kids around for the traditional yearly viewing of This week’s Tale.

Changed the image on the splash page. It was an orange vibe kinda-weekend. Yum.

2.27.2000 Thanks to an anonymous patron, if you bookmark prehensile, now you'll get a little icon of my face in your favorites folder (IE only).

Trouble convincing people to have sex with you? If you've got $5000, I may have a solution. Deron is selling is black '65 Ford Galaxy convertable. I will miss the feeling of pulling up to a club or party in that beautiful beast. The vehicle just screams, "Cocky Bastard!" e-mail him for more.

Perhaps too much intimacy in the new wrds on cockybastard.

If Cirque du Soleil gave the porn business a try, it would look like January's fuck of the month @ rotten.com (adults only)

2.26.2000 WOW! I'm number 10 on Amber's Choice: Top Ten Favorite Erotica Sites - Straight Women's Erotica.

This banner from almostcool.org says it all.

2.25.2000 I bought an orange teacosy-style hat today. I knew you'd be pleased.

If you're wondering why you can't get to the GREAT site, aListApart.com, read the letter on zeldman.com.

FUNNY stuff in Teacosy and Tootsiepop's Mission Logs. One picture of me and Kaya wrestling in the office (That's me on the ground). Another picture of me eating my first Krispy Kreme donut. Yes, a momentous day.

I found some Simple shoes online!

So I'm in love with a brand of shoes called, Simple. But you can't buy them anywhere! Their website doesn't let you order online. I *want* to give them my money and they won't let me!!! If anyone knows where I can order Simple shoes online, lemmie know.

2.24.2000 If you liked Fight Club, then check the UK version of the website. It rules. (But If anyone asks, I didn't say anything about Fight Club.)

"I was a receptionist for a law firm in Colorado called Creamer & Seaman. No joke! I got the business cards to prove it. I used to joke with my friends that I worked at a sperm bank. Honey, you should have heard me answer those phones!"

Jan portrays my mindset beautifully. "The soul would have no rainbow had the eye no tear."

The new SI swimsuit issue has a 3-D section. Ya, know, the *last* thing I need when I'm masturbating is another accessory. (actually, the 3-D was really cool)

2.23.2000 Here's a cute picture of me and my friend Tre

I dreamt last night that I cut my hair off. Really short. It was a nightmare. I was FILLED with regret. I guess I'm not ready to let go of my security blanket...Vanity is still my master.

I always hear about Wizard of Oz + Pink Floyd. (You turn off the sound of the movie and substitute "The Dark Side of the Moon" Soundtrack. But I never took the time to do it. Maybe cause I'm not a huge Floyd fan. Maybe because I'm simply too fond of the Munchkins' voices.

2.22.2000 Someone just told me they found cockybastard.com after doing a search on "Allie McBeal." If that doesn't officially make me a female, I think it *at least* gives me the right to use the women's restroom.

I just met with someone who is interviewing to be my boss (A VP position who would be managing me.) I only had 2 questions: Would you have a problem with me leaving the office every day at 4:00? How do you feel about me working in the nude?

You thought *you* had a tough playground name? Talk to Mr. Seemann.

Pictures of me + words of poets + design skills of Jan = Halcyon Week 2000.

2.21.2000 I was moved to reply to a piece of hate e-mail, so I posted in in wrds on cockybastard.

2.20.2000 I can’t remember who sent me the link to this week’s Tale, but it’s a beaut. It’s a story of a Cat Enema and Brian Dowell was gracious enough to let us re-print it. I think it fits perfectly as a Tattle Tale. What? You don’t know what Tattle Tales are?! Well, you better find out quick.

Oh, I suppose i should share *my* answer to Derek's question of "What is a Weblog?" "Every day on the web is a mini adventure. Blogs are just individuals' chronicles of their digital journeys...pixlelated versions of Lewis & Clark's notebooks."

"So I was at the Wrapp Factory eating lunch yesterday, and I saw this really pretty girl wearing a teacosy hat. Naturally, I thought of you, so I picked her up. If you want her, send me $58 in stamps and a really big envelope."

Derek gives a nice commentary on weblogs. I'm still wondering if I'm "blogging." I haven't really been embraced into the Blog community. (Despite the fact that I registered "blogs.com" to try to win their approval). I'm more of a friendly neighbor. I see the other Bloggers at the local supermarket, but I don't get invited to their pool parties. Do you think prehensile is a weblog? Do ya care?

Hungry for quality on the web? Try a brand new version of glassdog.WEB PRODUCT.

I am quickly becoming addicted to my Palm V. I'm doomed.

2.18.2000 Vote for Abdul the Great if you want to see me hand a SXSW award to a Teddy Bear.

2.17.2000 My mind is going crazy with visions of a redesign. I keep having dreams where Prehensile and Cockybastard become one. Maybe it's just Presidents' Day Fever that's got a hold of me.

2.16.2000 Happy Birthday Gus. Working with you was a pleasure and an honor.

I'm thinking that the Pages of the Day should be be posted on this page (instead of a seperate page). Any thoughts?

I wish I could explain why this groove-filled stuffed monkey made me so happy.

2.15.2000 I had a divine V-day. *sigh* Thank you, Yoni. And I just want to say that I read the "The Beach" while I was backpacking in Thailand (2 years ago) through the very islands that the story takes place in. I think that makes me pretty darn cool.

2.14.2000 For VD silliness, check out these Unfortunate Valentine's Cards

Happy Valentine's Day! This week's Tale is Prehensile Cards. What Valentine wouldn't want an e-Card that says, "I'll give you my allowance if I can touch your boobs"?! The Prehensile Cards are powered by teacosy.net. Thanks, Jan! Oh, and I made it back from Las Vegas in one piece. Charles Shultz died. This page says it well: It was a dark and stormy night.....goodbye, Charlie Brown.

2.11.2000 Last week pro football player, Aaron Taylor, spoke to our office about commitment and teamwork. Today he announced his retirement. Bad omen? Or just a confirmation that I should get my motivation *outside* the realm of steroid-rich professional sports.

For the morbidly curious, I posted some MPEG movies of me taken last week. (Sorry, no nudity.)

The Vegas Tale I linked to yesterday was from an OLD Vegas trip. No need to think I've been cheating on my girlfriend. Speaking of which...I added some wrds to cockybastard.

2.10.2000 I'm going to Vegas this weekend. Vegas, baby!

CollegeClub's VoiceChat partner uses the slogan, "Now, the tongue does the work of ten fingers." Heh.

Using glassdog's new Blog naming tool I learned that poopieglobe.com is available!

2.9.2000 After a LONG break, I sent out a prehensile-gram last night. You *are* on the list, yes?

2.8.2000 Do your Valentine's Day Shopping in the Condom Sense Prehensile Affiliate Store. Might I suggest the anal beads?

Want to scare someone? Send a HalcyonCard. Another fine Teacosy.net production.

2.7.2000 The new Tale is the 8th Vibe Me, Baby.

Thank Brad for the "Halcyon Chocolates" graphic. He's also the man responsible for this Halcyon/Elvis animation.

2.6.2000 A pretty cool James Bond snow chase-meets-Indiana Jones commercial ended pre-climax and said, "CONTINUES AT WHATEVER.NIKE.COM" It's the first I've seen like that.

Got a funny page this morning: "For some reason, this whole Halcyon truck thing makes me want to listen to 'Proud Mary' while masturbating ..."

2.5.2000 If you have a few minutes, check out what would happen if geeks rules Hollywood.

It'll be tough to think of a better name for the beaniepeenie. (thanks, Steve)

Mark summed up February for under $6.

2.4.2000 So you want to see my face on the truck? Here are two pics.

2.3.2000 My secret is out: Halcyon = Elvis

If you're in San Diego and REALLY bored, an 18 wheeler with my HUGE face painted on it will be at Jack Murphy Stadium. From 8-10am, then it leaves on a cross country road trip. I'll try to get some pictures.

2.2.2000 They committed it to "print"...so I guess that means I WILL emcee the SXSW awards.

2.1.2000 The counter-culture should be mocked occasionally. Check this Burning Man Parody.

Remember when I was complaining that my Olympus z-2000 had some crappy features? Well I eventually lost the lenscap (it was inevitable). The replacement just arrived. It cost me $9.95 for the cap PLUS 7.85 in postage and handling. $7.85 in handling to do basic customer service on an $800 camera that didn't even come with a case to carry it in? I am *not* impressed. While I love the picture quality...Olympus seems hell bent on making me dislike my camera. Speaking of my camera...here's some pictures of this weekend's "Candyland" party at the Treehouse. (Also Deron and Stacie's birthday). I dressed as a piece of red licorice.

Happy Feb! 02.01.2000...It's *practically* a palendrome. Heh...Okay, I better have some coffee.

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