1.31.2000 Sometimes, when it's not about e-commerce and click-throughs, the Internet can be a beautiful thing....as seen in the week's pre-Valentine Tale of the Week. (My favorite Superbowl ad: E-Trade's "We just wasted $2 million") I was recognized by DorkofTheDay.com. Gee, thanks.

1.30.2000 SUPER SUNDAY! Are those talking iguanas playing this year? My enthusiasm for 'The Big Game' hasn't increased much since San Diego hosted it.

1.28.2000 This sculpture ties together the "snow" and "penis" themes. How tidy!

Take a break from raging snowstorms with aSnowing Penis shower. Jan does it again.

1.27.2000 eBay item 245750440 (Ends Jan-28-00 08:18:24 PST) - Snow, powder, 12" , buyer must pick up heh.

1.26.2000 It warms my heart to see Victory for Etoy.

1.25.2000 Meghan illustrated exactly why I shouldn't cut my hair.

Lance's logic is hard to argue with: I've decided that you absolutely must cut your hair. I assume that either the recent poll indicated that the fanbase does not favor such a move. or you decided it was not in your best interest to do so, but let me present my latest observation and see if it doesn't convince you. John, you have Klingon hair. You may think this is a positive factor, but it isn't . You have special effect hair! You must go the Ricky Martin route! I know you're now in a relationship, but I must point out that more chicks (and most men) favor Ricky Martin over Worf any day, musical taste notwithstanding. Food for thought. He offerered this vs. this as proof. Tee, hee! With email like that, it's no wonder books don't hold my interest.

1.24.2000 Okay, to address a few concerns I've been getting e-mailed about: Yes, I am aware that "Yoni" means "source of all life" or "Vulva." It's a pet name, okay? Sorry for so much CollegeClub stuff on Prehensile. I'm working alot and doing my best to stay creative, too. I'll try to step it up.

Tale of the Week is an offering in the FlashFlicks area of CollegeClub. (Make sure to invite friends afterwards.) CollegeClub's new mail system is live. *whew* Yes, I'm working too much.

1.23.2000 I think the graphic that Sherms made for CC's Mail down page is kinda fun.

1.22.2000 I just dyed my hair "Malaysian Cherry." I knew you'd be excited.

1.21.2000 Proposed Law Would Imprison Aroused Men. WHAT!?!? This is an issue that is near and dear to my heart. Well, maybe a little lower than my heart.

Holy crapola. Check out what Word did.

I'm a fan of any song that includes the lyrics, "Pulling my nipples and rubbing my crotch 'Cause Halcyon's the guy I most love to watch!" Thanks Jellobong.

The eclipse started with a fissle among a haze of clouds. But then shaped up into a humdinger of a red circle in the sky. I'm glad science had an explanation...otherwise I'd be running around screaming, "The Moon is Red!!!! We've angered the gods!!!"

1.20.2000 Don't miss the lunar eclipse tonight.

I was actually kinda diappointed when I found out TongueStud. was place that sold Body Jewelry.

I just sent out this week's Update-O-Rama to the CollegeClub Community. I kinda liked the graphic I made for it:

1.19.2000 *sigh* The Digital Camcorder I ordered on Dec 5 arrived. Of course, I finally cancelled the order last week and now have the hassle of returning it. NEVER shop at theglobe.com. Let's see it's Jan 19th? That's just *slightly* late for X-mas. Even Jesus would have a hard time turning the other cheek.

I love *all* Pork Billboard's. But that one's my fave. Thanks Jason.

Newsflash: CollegeClub.com hired Kaya Styn as a Community Developer. I'll be working with my brother!!!! I wonder if wet-willies and noogies are appropriate office behavior?

Aye Carumba!TheSimpsons.com redesigned their site and is offering @theSimpsons.com email addresses. *Excellent* From Groundskeeper Willie's profile I learned that his substitute french teacher lesson plan included the phrase, ""Bonjour, you cheese-eatin' surender-monkeys."

1.18.2000 Looks like lots of good stuff at SXSW 2000. I'll be speaking on March 14 about getting a cease and desist with Jason and Lawgirl. (01.19 fixed Jason's link) I'm also supposed to be MCing the awards ceremony. I'm thinking fur pants are in order.

My girlfriend is away for 2 weeks. And we are experiencing those pangs that happen when you separate new lovers. I made her this angel kiss for Yoni last night. (warning: 100K and quite mushy)

These trippy paintings were a nice way to start the morning.

1.17.2000 Thank god for Martin Luther King, Jr. May we all pursue such noble dreams. that's a picture of my Grandpa with MLK

1.16.2000 The new Tale is about a Tough Day at work. All images taken my work and home cams. Ain't that neat? The Tales are starting to illustrate themselves!

1.15.2000 I loved the Shuttlecocks' review of frozen deserts. From the Ice Cream on a Stick review: "Everything's better on a stick. Everything! The only foodstuffs that aren't improved by impalement are those that thanks to a cruel twist of surface tension can't be put on a stick, like barbecue sauce and Irish cream. "

1.14.2000 Dave started his email, "Dear Halcy(J)o(h)n..." I never realized how well my name shuffled.

1.13.2000 Flinn suggested I ask International Male for royalties since they ripped off my Fur Jeans idea. :) (if you missed *my* fur pants, they're here.)

1.12.2000 justin flatters me by saying, "...people are being hired like nuts. Mostly young men, but with interesting hairstyles - one with two prehensile-style pigtails and another with a turban." Justin was the *orginal* web guy with freaky hair.

While I'm working out bugs in the message boards...check out this RIVETING fork-in-mouth mini-movie. (thanks, Jan)

1.11.2000 I'm trying to set up Prehensile message boards at ezboard.com. Any suggestions for topic areas? Should I make it so that you have to register? Or make it semi-anonymous? Any horror stories/suggestions on setting up message boards? E-mail me.

While I'm at work, I pointed my Home Cam at my blooming bulbs (Amaryllis and Paperwhites). I wish the cam had smell-o-vision.

My brother, Kaya, just sent me this email: I don't know why people insist crack is bad. Listen to this: "A Florida man who swallowed 55 small glass pipes used to smoke cocaine was recovering after surgeons removed the paraphernalia from his stomach." The guy had gone into the hospital complaining of "severe abdominal cramps, heartburn, and indigestion. He apparently swallowed the pipes while high on crack and DID NOT REALIZE what he was doing. The glass tubes ranged up to 4 1/2 inches long." OH MAN. I admit I've swallowed my share of glass pipes, maybe 12 or 13 at the MOST at any one time. But 55! It's like Dimaggio's 56 game hitting streak, or Cy Young's 511 games won... it's a record that simply can't be broken. For lunch today... NO GLASS PIPES. I insist.

1.10.2000 Just spent too much time on a kewl Simpsons site and it's Ralph Wiggum sub-site. Where you kind find an audio file of ralph saying, "Oh Boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a viking." and other Ralph gems.

Lots of interesting reactions to the Tale of the Week. I suppose, 'Thank you' and 'I'm sorry' covers most of them. if you need some guidance, there is a new tool to help you figure out the answer. The WeeJee board.

1.9.2000 The mystery behind my recent odd behavior is revealed in this week's Tale, "Halcyon in Love". It's exactly what it sounds like. But if you want something funny, here's a link to some chuckles, too.

1.8.2000 I took down the home cam. More details on Monday.

1.7.2000 I finally put a page up at www.halcyon1.com.

1.6.2000 Jenn put together a bunch of Halcyon pics in a successfull attempt to make me blush.

1.5.2000 this morning's post prompted a pretty funny page of the day: I think I'm in love with your "7 inch, throbbing, red amaryllis...can I sniff it pulease?

The first of my Amaryllis bulbs is blooming. Huge red blooms. 7 inches across and throbbing with life. It makes me happy. (BTW: I *love*garden.com)

1.4.2000 Yikes. My first day back to work in 2000. I think I prefer vacation and excessive partying. I needed to find the wording for the SAT analogy questions and remembered that what I sought was under my nose in the PT - SAT. (don't spend too long on the essay question...cause it doesn't have a submit button)

1.3.2000 The Tale of the Week is an interview in SinglesMonthly.com.

1.1.2000 Happy Freakin' New Year!!!! Wow. We had quite a bash last night. As promised, I *was* naked at midnight when the 1900's left us. I entered the 21st century nekkid...the same way I entered the 20th. Poetically, it rained just before midnight...reminding us that the old ways needed to be washed away. I'm sending everyone a flower-filled hug on this amazing day. -John

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